Tales of Summer

Happy Holidays

2008-12-25T08:19:00.000-05:00

I'm still here.

2006-12-08T12:55:00.000-05:00

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

He really isn't that smart

2006-12-08T11:07:00.000-05:00

Since some inconsiderate bastard decided it would be funny when my mother is practically on her deathbed to hack my site - we're going to be here on Blogger again.

The joke is on him though. He wasn't that good. He left a trail. And he will be hearing from the authorities soon.

Thanks for stopping by...

2006-06-23T16:46:00.000-04:00

Originally uploaded by joeydestino.

I'm not here anymore. I'm now on my own website.... joeydestino.com

Please update your blogrolls, or your bookmarks, and most importantly, follow me on over.

Thanks!
jd

Au Revoir et Bienvenue

2006-06-20T08:31:00.000-04:00

Originally uploaded by joeydestino.

What are you doing here? Go here:

JoeyDestino.com

Time to give it up

2006-06-19T06:04:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is the first day of summer. How more appropriate for what I am about to do.

This is the last official post on this blog. Blogger's been good to me, but as Kathy Griffin would say, it's like someone I slept with too soon. Only there for its needs. Never considering my feelings. Never keeping it up when I need it the most.

Summer. How ironic I guess. How many times have I said goodbye in summer?

Well the astute among you who commented on the last post, which I forgot to delete, probably figured it out. This is the end.

So adios blogger. It was fun, but I know how to quit you. Tomorrow. Come back here. And I'll tell you where to go.

Tomorrow. Summer. My blog on my own website!!!

tes

2006-06-17T22:14:00.000-04:00

test

Is this apology from Macy's enough?

2006-06-15T15:48:00.000-04:00

rainbowflagsunset
Originally uploaded by joeydestino.

From MACY'S EAST CHAIRMAN & CEO RON KLEIN
To the members of the GLBT Community:

My appreciation goes to In Newsweekly for giving me the opportunity to shed some light on a very troublesome week in Boston.

First, let me stress that Macy's commitment to diversity and to the GLBT community is unwavering. Our history is rooted in inclusiveness, and it is a core principle of Macy's.

I do recognize, however, that during Boston Pride Week, our actions did not appear to support that commitment. Every one of us in the Macy's family sincerely regrets that what we had genuinely intended to be a celebration of Gay Pride Week became the center of a controversy.

For many years, our company has dedicated a window in our Downtown Crossing store in Boston to Pride Week, and we did so enthusiastically again this year.

When the controversy arose over the content of our display, the decision was made to maintain the display with no changes. We wanted to stand firm in our support of Boston Pride Week and the GLBT community - just as we always have.

Unfortunately, as sometimes happens in large organizations, a miscommunication occurred and the controversial mannequins were removed. Again, they were not removed because of pressure - but because of an internal breakdown in communication. Macy's mistake - unquestionably.

Some can also call our decision not to return the mannequins to the window a mistake. Historically, our windows dedicated to causes and celebrations have always been executed through the use of text and props such as posters. We traditionally do not feature mannequins in these "community windows" because the introduction of merchandise has no role in our tributes.

I would ask the GLBT community to consider all that we did do - and have done - for Pride Week and the GLBT community. We did feature the Pride Week calendar of events in our window; we have done so for many years and are committed to doing so in the future. We hope the GLBT community will look past one element in a window display and recognize the exemplary record Macy's has in support of diversity and the GLBT community. We are one of the most supportive companies in the country to our GLBT employees, including many members of senior management, as well as, vendors, and customers. Our annual support of Pride Week in Boston and in other cities across the country should clearly demonstrate our commitment.

Am I regretful that Macy's made a mis-step in this instance? Yes. I am also regretful that some may question our commitment to the GLBT community based on this incident.

However, I am hopeful that Macy's long track record of support for inclusion and diversity will be remembered by the GLBT community and will be a strong counterbalance now that the facts are known.

As a Macy's employee, I am proud that our company supports and marches in Pride parades in Boston, Atlanta, Minneapolis, St. Petersburg, Seattle, and New York City (where I have personally marched for several years). I am proud of Macy's participation in AIDS walks in Los Angeles, San Francisco, Atlanta, Miami and New York City. I am proud of Macy's Passport fashion event, held in San Francisco and Los Angeles, that has raised $21 million for HIV/AIDs research since 1988. I am proud of Macy's 86 ranking in the Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index - the second-highest ranking possible. And I'm proud of all the community partnerships, events, awards programs, marketing campaigns, recruiting efforts, and education and awareness programs undertaken by Macy's with and for the GLBT community.

I can tell you with deepest sincerity that Macy's commitment to diversity and to the GLBT community always will be an important part of our company and our community outreach.

So.

I don't know. I question why it took so long to respond. If they were truly sincere, the apology, and a replacement of the mannequins should have happened last week. Did it take seeing a loss of income coupled with protestors outside the stores and a lot of bad press to get the spin doctors in place?

Sorry. There's a bad taste in my mouth over this. My money is still going to go elsewhere for now until more is done. What say you?

I will not disappear.

2006-06-07T14:09:00.000-04:00

A letter to Christine Stewart, Customer Service Specialist, Macy's; copied to terry.lundgren@federated-fds.com, thomas.cody@federated-fds.com, thomas.cole@federated-fds.com, janet.grove@federated-fds.com, susan.kronick@federated-fds.com, ronald.tysoe@federated-fds.com, karen.hoguet@federated-fds.com, kimberly.reason@macys.com, lisa.kauffman@macys.com, ellen.fruchtman@macys.com,
elina.kazan@macys.com,
ronnie.taffet@macys.com

Dear Ms. Stewart,

I was extremely saddened to learn of the decision of the Boston Macy's store to
remove part of it's Pride window display. Once I heard this, I sought out
before and after pictures of the display to see where the controversy stemmed. I fully expected to see that the display included some graphic sexual reference. This was not the case. What I saw was two men, not touching, just standing there. One man of color, and one man with a pride flag wrapped around his waist such as one would do with a jacket.

My how offensive that is!

Well. I m offended. As a gay man who spends a lot of his disposable income at
Macy's - who has always touted its diversity - I am heartily offended. I will not be spending any further money at any Macy's store or its parent company stores until an apology is sent to the gay community. Neither will any of my friends once they hear of this. Nor will my co-workers who were shocked when I showed them this as well.

What saddens me most, is the slap in the face to your gay employees. There are quite a few in case you didn't know.

Well, the story is on Andy's site --> towleroad

I know, I know. Joey isn't exactly an activist. But with Republicans who publicly state the DOMA is the most important thing this country has to worry about, and the fact that a few right-wing wingnuts can push a little and get something like this to happen, well it just pisses me off and I am tired of it.

I WILL NOT DISAPPEAR!!!!

(I never thought I would hear myself say this...
I'm here. I'm gay. Get used to it. )

Solidarity

2006-06-01T12:31:00.000-04:00

A meme worth participating in.

This photo is from Kelly Stern at Rambling along in life. He has asked us to commemorate the Stonewall Riots by posting his photo.

Please visit his blog and read his awesome post.

Solidarity. It happened at Stonewall. Why can't it happen now? As Kelly says "Pride is not all about nekkid men and getting crazy,
but what has happened in our history...lets not forget..."

I can't get it up

2006-05-30T21:28:00.000-04:00

Yeah well it's not my fault. If my BF would leave me alone for awhile I might have gotten the server up.

I'm trying to install WordPress, and for someone that does software for a living, I have to tell these developers - If you make it idiot-proof, only I will use it.

So we're just going to keep chatting here for a bit longer.

So. What's new. Hmmm. Well, we opened the house at the shore this weekend. There's lot's to talk about there. The Season is here and I am ecstatic! More this week....

I saw Ms. Novak this weekend too. There's a surf stroll talk coming too...

Mikey's having a birthday! Go over and wish him well --> Temporary Trouble Spots

Well I have to get back to work on this software. It's hard to get it up. Some days anyway.

Patience my pretty

2006-05-18T07:21:00.000-04:00

So where has Joey been?

Well it's going to be a wee bit longer. Joey has been working on his new site! My own domain. My own server. Hittin' the big time. Movin' on up. To the East Side. A dee-lux server in the sky-i-i.

So go check out the lovely folks on the blogroll, and come back here Memorial Day for instructions on how to find the further adventures of me, my guy, my dog, my too cute to be straight neighbor, and life in general.

See you cats on the flip side!!!

ps: WordPress or Moveable Type? or some other CMS? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

pps: Stephen, congratulations on your Tony nomination!!!! Woohoo! You go boy!

How I Spent My Easter Vacation (Part3) , by Joey

2006-05-08T07:46:00.000-04:00

I was holding on to his legs but there wasn't an ounce of anything other than fear. He was moving around a lot above me, and the ladder was shaking like crazy. Not a big fan of heights, I was hanging on to him more out of sheer panic than anything else.

Then it happened. HSNB's ass was glowing. A light was shining around it like a halo. Now one would think in a situation like this, that a miracle was occurring. Well it was sort of a miracle I guess. One of our neighbors had seen what was going on, and came out with a flashlight. The miracle was that it was him, and not the police.

"You guys need some help?" the neighbor asked.

Over the course of the next few minutes, this neighbor had produced a screwdriver and a t-shirt for HSNB. He was able to climb the ladder himself, and pull out the screen using only the screwdriver (Sigh. I'll never be butch). HSNB was able to get into his house, take his insulin, and put on a pair of shorts.

The three of us sat in his living room, while he told the story to our neighbor (who even now a week later laughs his head off everytime he sees HSNB). The neighbor finally left, and HSNB drifted off to sleep on his couch. Once I knew he was settled, I left as well. Better to let sleeping princes lie.

How I Spent My Easter Vacation (Part2) , by Joey

2006-05-05T11:45:00.000-04:00

When last we left our intrepid hero, he was standing outside a mostly naked Hot Straight Neighbor Boy's townhouse at about 4 in the morning on Easter Sunday, about to commit the crime of Breaking and Entering...

"You want to do what? Are you crazy? How the hell are we going to break into your house?” I asked, thinking at any moment now I would wake up safe in my own bed.

"Well I never lock my bedroom windows. You just need to climb up, pull out the screen, and slide right in to my bedroom," he replied. The look on his face was as if he had just casually mentioned how nice the weather was. A thousand thoughts were going through my mind at that moment. We're going to be killed. We're going to fall. The cops will come and shoot us off the side of the building. We'll...and then it hit me.

"What do you mean I'll climb up?"

"I can't climb up there. I'm only wearing underwear!” he retorted.

Considering the gravity of the situation, I did exactly what you would expect. I seemed to notice for the first time that evening, the brand of underwear he was wearing, and how nicely it fit. Hey just because I'm about to break into my neighbor's house doesn't mean I wasn't gay any longer! Of course I looked. Wouldn't you?

"Alright,” I said, "But how am I going to get up there?"

"You've got a ladder in your shed, remember?"

To make a long story short, I went over to my house and as quiet as I could, I retrieved my ladder. The fact that none of my neighbors woke up when I rammed it into the wall, or when I fell over the neighbor kid's sandbox (yelling words that would make my mother blush), is just amazing.

So at HSNB's direction, I got the ladder into position, and made the climb. Did I mention I'm afraid of heights? When I got up to the window, I realized that there is a screen in front of our windows and they can only be removed from inside the room. I called down to him in a stage whisper to let him know this. I looked down and he wasn't there.

Okay, I know I've watched too many horror movies, but at that moment I just knew he was dead down there somewhere and if I went back down the ladder there he would be. Dead on the ground. Blood everywhere. So I did exactly what the protagonist should do. I called his name, quietly so as to not waking anyone up. No answer. Then I felt the ladder shake and I realized someone was climbing up.

It was him of course. And he had a knife. No, wait, that isn't a knife. It's a small spade.

"Ummm. What are you doing?” I asked.

"I'm going to rip the screen."

Made sense to me. So I climbed down a few steps to let him have room at the top.

"I need to push in on the screen and try and cut it with the other, so can you hold on to my legs"

So there I am. 4am. Easter Sunday. In the Dark. On a ladder. Breaking into a house. Holding on to a very hot man's naked legs, his ass inches from my face. And that's when it happened...

to be continued

How I Spent My Easter Vacation, by Joey

2006-05-03T08:24:00.000-04:00

"Oh Lover, I'll cover you..." (pretentious cell phone ringtone)

"Mmmfph-lo", I grunted, answering the phone.

"Joey, I need your help. Were you up?” the voice said, way too loudly, in my not yet truly functioning ear.

"Who is this?” I asked, looking at the clock, my brain making the connection that those numbers meant it was still the middle of the night.

"It's HSNB, can you come pick me up?"

Thoughts start racing as the brain kicks into gear. Airport? Did I forget something? Accident? Hospital? If not, he will be for waking me up. Wait, maybe he's dead. Ummm. I need to stop watching Ghost Whisperer. "Where are you?"

"I'm at [address]. I don't have my keys. Can you come get me?” he said, the pleasing in his voice melting whatever anger I was feeling.

"Alright, I'll be there in about 20 minutes,” I said.

I hopped out of bed. Okay hopped may be too enthusiastic of a term for that time of night/morning. I guess stumbled would be more appropriate. I got dressed and headed out. He was in a neighboring town, not really close, but only about 15 minutes away. I didn't really recognize the address, but I found it without too much difficulty. I pull up to the curb outside of an apartment complex. I didn't see him anywhere. And all I can think is, I am going to kill him.

Just like a horror movie, he knocks on the passenger side rear window and I scream out. Scared the hell out of me. I unlocked the doors, and he climbs in. The first thing I notice is, he is only wearing underwear and shoes. Okay now this has become a scene out of a whole different movie.

He explained that he had gone back to this girl's apartment. He met her that night in a club, and she was "smokin' hot". I assume that is straight for very attractive. They got back to her place, had a drink, and were making out when she started to get a little rough. This part he seemed okay with. But when they got into the bedroom, from what I could piece together because he was talking very fast, she got a lot rough. And a lot freaky. I'll spare you all the details but there was hot wax, belts, and a knife involved.

He basically said no, but she kept pushing, then threatening, then started hitting him, and he ran out with just his shoes, his wallet, and his cell phone (which he always puts in his shoes he explained - I have learned not to question such things). When asked as to why he didn't get his other stuff, he explained she was throwing things, and breaking things, all the while screaming at him to - I'll translate for the more delicate of you - to kindly leave the premises immediately.

When we got back to our complex, I told him he could just stay at my place.

"I can't. I need my insulin," he said, "and it's in my house."

"But you left your keys behind, so we can't get it. In the morning we'll call a locksmith."

"No, I need it now; I'm feeling a little shaky. We'll have to break into my house."

At 3:30 in the morning. A Sunday morning. Easter Sunday morning. Why me? to be continued

Random thoughts...

2006-05-01T08:06:00.000-04:00

Spent a lot of time over the past few days working on a new look and feel. I'm not sure I am happy with it yet, and I'll most likely be doing a lot more tweaking. But for now it is what it is.

I am moving over soon to my own server and off of Blogger and I've been doing prep work for that as well.

Other than that, my weekend was quite fun. The BF and I spent a lot of time working in and around the house. We seem to spend a lot of time nesting lately.

Most everyone knows I am from Pittsburgh originally, and being a hometown kind of guy, the Steelers will always be my favorite team. However, this weekend, the Philadelphia Eagles drafted three-time world champion skier Jeremy Bloom. Yup, that guy over there in the picture that we've all been drooling over for the past few years. He's a wide receiver (and doesn't that ellicit dirty thoughts) and return specialist who last played football for the University of Colorado in 2003. I may have to start watching the Eagles.

Anyone wanna hang out at training camp with me?

Muy Caliente

2006-04-26T13:24:00.000-04:00

I don't care what any of you bitches say, this man is hot! He melts my buttah!!!

I know I'm always a little late to the dance, but if you haven't seen this yet, it's his new video. And if you have seen it, it's worth watching again!

There's even a little girl-on-girl action for our sisters, and our homosexually-challenged brothers (who I hear like that sort of thing).

This video sure does give a new meaning to "Got Milk"! And if anyone has pictures of that scene, please forward them to me. Yowsa.Ricky Martin Shirtless half naked

Ch Ch Changes

2006-04-25T12:47:00.000-04:00

The first draft of the novel is finished!!! Like any creative type person I am going to do what should be done. I am stepping away from it for a bit to distance myself so I can come back fresh and do some constructive editing.

Speaking of construction, there's going to be some changes going on. So please forgive me for a bit longer. My friend Jason over there, and I, will be working with his construction crew for the next few days, so things are most likely going to look a bit wonky around here. It's all part of the migration over to my own server and domain.

I have lots of stories to tell of the past few weeks as well, that I haven't gotten a chance to write here. Especially my latest late night escapade with HSNB...

Stay tuned.

I want to be as wise as she

2006-04-18T08:34:00.000-04:00

Originally uploaded by joeydestino.

"But I just don't know what I should do," I said, while staring out at the constant crashing of the waves.

"What does your heart tell you Mr. Cusack," she replied, slightly squeezing my forearm.

I kicked at a shell in the surf, not sure if I was avoiding the answer or just unsure of what I truly felt. Finally, I turned to her and said, "I feel if I leave I am saying goodbye to all that was, and all that could be. And I am terrified of starting over, but maybe, well maybe that is what is best."

"You can't bring him back, whether you stay here, or whether you go. California is a wonderful place, and your ideal of endless summer may in fact be there. Moving there though will bring that ideal, but only in weather. Not in your heart dear boy.

And of course, there is the issue of your new beau. Is your desire to leave to truly forget the past, or to avoid your future?"

Miss Novak was right of course. After much thought and introspection over the next few days in that late spring month last year, I made the decision to not take the job, and stay put. And as they say, that has made all the difference.

My demons still haunt me, and I'm sure they always will. As much as we say we have moved on, there is always that little residual something there. And that's okay. It's just a part of what makes me, well, me.

If a year ago, you had said to me that I would be planning a wedding this year, I would have laughed.

I clearly remember the last thing she said to me that day before we moved on to other topics, "Remember Mr. Cusack, your destiny will be fulfilled wherever you are." And so it is.

I think I'll try defying gravity

2006-04-08T06:33:00.000-04:00

Originally uploaded by joeydestino.

Physical therapy has been going great. All of my parts are working as they should. Bruising is pretty much gone now which has been a big boost to my confidence and self-esteem. I am no longer taking any meds. Yippee!

The most important thing that has changed in the past two weeks is, well, somehow something sparked. I don't know if it was a muse, or the clear-headed thinking, or just dumb luck, but I've been writing again. That's why I haven't been waxing prophetic here so much.

And of course it's spring, and in spring a young man's fancy turns to, well, let's just say now that the casts are off and the body is working well, a certain young man who lives in my house has gotten repayment for all of his tender care. Often. TeeHee.

Okay why am I hanging around here with you mugs? I have chapters to write, and a boyfriend to, ummm, wake up.

An observation

2006-03-31T08:01:00.000-05:00

Originally uploaded by joeydestino.

"Writers are observers of the human condition."

That's something a professor of mine once said. It's long stuck with me. Being an actor (well I used to be, it's been a while), I always thought that was true of us as well.

So what made that stick in my head?

The blogosphere lost an excellent writer this week. A young man with lots of talent, heart, soul, and a keen insight to the human condition. His reasons for no longer putting his thoughts out onto public display are extremely noble, decidely understandable, and definitely commendable.

Life is what happens. Blogs are what happens when life is observed, and chronicled. When the blog moves past its purpose of life observation, and becomes life intrusion, then the writer by all means should go dark. But that does not mean the writer should not write. It just means the writer need not share publicly.

I have thought of just such a thing many times. It is sometimes difficult to share these deeply personal things that we do. As I've said before, I don't post publicly everyday, and I only share those things that I choose. But I chronicle my life each and every day in a private journal. The things that happen to me that I choose to share, I usually try to spin humorously, to entertain. And in some way, to just reach out to other humans like me who share this preternatural condition of loving someone of the same gender.

I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here. Not everyday. But as often as I feel the need to reach out. For as long as observation does not become intrusion.

And to my fellow blogger who has chosen to now remain private, I wish you all the best that life can bring you, and hope that you enjoy the ride. You have conquered much. You have found love. Nurture it. And please, even if it is just a private journal, never ever stop writing.

I'm not a perfect person

2006-03-28T12:52:00.000-05:00

Doctor: I also think it would be good for you to see a therapist. It will help you heal much faster.

Me: Oooooo-kay.

So on Doctor's orders I made an appointment to see my therapist. He only slightly lectured me for not seeing him in over a year, but I really haven't felt the need. True, I have gone to see a therapist in the past, and this therapist in particular when Kirk died, but I feel like I have dealt well with life since then. Until now. And even this isn't that hard to handle, really. I mean, the only reason the man is seeing me now is because the Doctor ordered it.

So we talked for the hour. I sure didn't have to spell it out for him as to why the accident upset me. All in all it was a good session, and basically I came out of it knowing that I was already on the right track, even though I won't discuss the accident with anyone other than him and the BF, which is not totally healthy but acceptable according to the therapist.

So, feeling much better, I went back to my primary care guy...

Doctor: Everything is coming along nicely. Have you been to therapy.

Me: Yes I went on Friday.

Doctor: And has it helped.

Me: Well, yeah, it didn't hurt.

Doctor: Well that's a great sign. There's nothing in your chart. I must not have gotten the report on that yet.

Me: Ummm. I didn't realize you would get a report on that.

Doctor: No problem. I'll have the nurse call them. Did you go to Bryn Mawr Rehab, or Mainline Sports & OT?

Me: Neither. I went to see Dr. Steinberg.

Doctor: Which Physical Therapy is he with?

Me: Ummm. None.....You said therapist, so I just assumed...

And on my to do list today:
1. Find new Primary Care Physician.
2. Discuss with Therapist feelings of wanting to inflict bodily harm on Doctors who laugh at you.

Day 3

2006-03-22T07:40:00.000-05:00

I feel lost, disoriented, alone. Things that I have taken for granted, especially the last couple of weeks, I am now painfully aware of. He left me on Sunday, and I am not coping well.

I am a fiercely independent person. It was a learned behavior. I didn't start out that way, but after years of being an enabler and being taken advantage of, I learned to not need anyone else to take care of me.

When I asked BF to move in, it was with great trepidation. I didn't want to lose my independence. I didn't want to lose my alone time. I enjoy those times where I could just come home and lock my door and forget the rest of the world exists.

But his being here has been anything but a problem. If anything, the house stayed cleaner, laundry has been done on a more regular basis, and even the dog seemed happier.

Now I am a semi-invalid. A leg in a cast, an arm in a cast, ribs that hurt when I breathe, among other things. I had gotten used to him nursing me. I was used to him doing all of the things I can't right now. I was used to him picking up the things that I drop and can't bend down to pick up. I was used to him, well, you know. The cast prevents me from handling that myself. I miss him terribly, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it. I am lost.

Thank God he'll be back on Friday. I'm down to my last pair of clean underwear.

Step by step

2006-03-17T07:35:00.000-05:00

Again, thank you for the kind comments, thoughts, and well wishes. They are appreciated far more than you know.

Fact is, it is a sometimes difficult road back. But not unsurmountable, and not as bad as it could have been.

I have sat down numerous times to write/discuss what happened but for several reasons, I just can't.

For one, those of you who have been around for awhile know what happened in the past that added to the trauma. And second, I really didn't want to write an entry that would have seemed to intentionally elicit a lot of Poor Joey comments.

I am going through physical therapy and it has helped immensely. My physical therapist is, well, quite honestly, so frelling hot I can't concentrate on my routine. Yowsa!

I am no longer on any pain medication, and I returned to work this week. I have a really cool new car too. And my guy is a rock. He has put up with a lot over the last couple of weeks, and has proven to be an accomplished nurse. And did I mention he is quite creative when it comes to taking care of all of my needs? ;)

So see, it's not so bad. A lot of good things have happened along the way. And Isn't that what life is all about? Taking the journey and experiencing every thing that life has to offer?

It's coming

2006-03-14T09:23:00.000-05:00

Summer. It's coming. The long dark will soon be over. Everything will be as it is meant to be. The sun will blaze golden. Shirtless boys will appear in the park, blazing golden. My spirit will blaze golden.

Lifeguards with golden tans will appear on the beaches. Children will play in the surf mixing the crash of the waves with their squeals and laughter.

The man I love, with all my heart, will continue to prove I can move outside my comfort zone by making me do new things. Like surfing.

Everything will be healed. And my spirit?

Miss Novak and Mr. Cusack will again stroll at the water's edge, pondering life's mysteries.