Hey Jude!

Wow. I always thought that Jude Law was a good actor, and I never truly thought he was hot until I saw Cold Mountain. But after seeing this pic, I'm thinking - boy takes care of himself :)

What? Oh yeah, I only posted a part of the pic for those of you who may read the blog at work. If you click on the pic though, you will get to see what his fiancee and his nanny got all hot and bothered over.

This story even made the news!

Update: Apparently there are more pictures. Here are the links:

Now that's Progress!

A friend of mine forwarded this today in an email. The New York Times printed this picture of the VJ day celebration in NYC which commemorated the famous photo taken on VJ Day.

So what's so progressive about this picture?

If you look, I think you can figure it out!

To write or not to write, that is the question....

I received the following in an email and thought I would share it. As those of you who read my scribblings here already know, I have dabbled with being an actual author for most of my life. Hasn't happened yet - well at least not having a novel published. So the writer geek in me found this amusing, and I think anyone who has had a sanctimonious professor may agree:

When I was an English major in college, I took Shakespeare 201Shakespeare 101 was the plays EVERYONE read. Shakespeare 201 was the
lesser known plays. I read the plays and judged the characters by what they did. My instructor read the plays and judged the characters by what they said. Needless to say we had very different interpretations of both the characters and the plays. I thought Othello was the stupidest play ever written. Othello was my instructor's favorite play. Similarly we had very different interpretations of King Lear.

At that time, they gave split grades such as A/A or B/A on papers in the English department where I went to college. The first grade was on content. The second grade was on writing style. I am the only person I know of to get an F/A, and it was in that Shakespeare class. F for content. A for writing style. The instructors comment "What you wrote was such absolute garbage that I nearly failed to notice how well it was written." That's funny...I thought the same thing about Othello.

The result was that I became an Economics major. Probably a good choice.

What's the news across the nation?

When I get to work in the morning, I normally open up my My Yahoo page and scan the headlines. I have about 40 different news feeds on my page because - well first off I am a news junkie, and secondly because I have such varied interests. I also keep track of all the tech news since I am a geek.

When I skim the headlines I always get a first impression about what the article may contain. I'm sure it's not always what the author intended. So I decided I would share some headlines with you, and my first impressions. This may very well be an insight into how twisted my mind truly is. I'll include the links for you too, just in case you want to read the story:

Parent-trap snares recruiters
Shouldn't a parent trap snare parents?

Unhappy Owens suspended by Eagles
Shuttup and Play. And dear goddess please strike down his manager.

Clay wins decathlon gold to deny Sebrle
I thought the only thing Clay Aiken did was sing. And hide in the closet.

Hollywood star Angelina Jolie is Cambodian citizen
Good. One more psycho gone.

Street taps education secretary
Proofreader must be on vacation. Either that or there's a scandal in Philly City Hall.

US officials go to hackers' convention to recruit
All the other criminals are in government already. Guess they had to go somewhere new.

Opera Offers Web Browsing For Low-End Mobile Phones
That woman is into everything.

For IBM And Sun, Bigger Is Still Better
Size queens

Fugitive Couple Used Cab to Escape to Ohio
No wonder they were caught. They probably gave up willingly from the stench in the cab.

Defense of Marriage Coalition fined $19,811
$19,000? Oooooo that'll teach 'em!

Murder and mayhem, the perfect comedy cocktail
We all need a hobby.

Unocal swallowed by Chevron after Chinese pullout
Wasn't Jeff Stryker in that movie?

Courtney Love Reportedly Fails Drug Test
And that surprises anyone because...? You'd think she'd pass - seems to study enough.

Inevitable?

Well life here in Perfect has been, ummm, perfect.

Great job, great house, great guy, great summer rental.

I'm afraid however, that it's all just smoke and mirrors. The other shoe is about to drop. The sword of Damacles will fall from it's hair. The fat drag queen is about to sing. The tide is t.... You get the picture.

Can it be that you can be so happy that you are miserable? What if I wake up and it's January and none of it happened?

Or can it be that a certain anniversary is coming up, and I am not ready to handle it? Or is it just that I am terrified that it could happen again?

I hate shark week

Originally uploaded by joeydestino.

I am truly having what is most likely the best summer of my life - so far. I don't even think childhood summers were ever this much fun.

My weeks of course are filled with work. Luckily my work is for the most part enjoyable. And the weekends have been spectacular!

I have spent good quality time with friends almost every weekend. I continue to do things that are a little out of the norm for me. And BF has had a huge hand in that. Our relationship constantly manages to surprise me. I would never have expected to find someone that I did not have to "mother" in some way or another.

That is, until this weekend. He decided he wanted to learn how to surf. Of course he knows I have the hots for surfer boys, so I should have seen it coming. I love the water. I love the shore. I love boats. Hell I even love parasailing. But. I will never, ever, surf. And now that he is taking lessons, my maternal instincts are kicking in. Thoughts of sharks keep running through my head. And trust me on this one. I don't want anyone or anything eating him.

'Cept me of course ;)

Miss Novak

6:30AM Saturday I was sitting on the beach watching, reflecting, meditating. Hearing a noise behind me I turned, and there she was.

"Good morning, Miss Novak", I said.

"Good morning, Mr. Cusack", she replied as she sat next to me.

"Here's your cappuccino", I said, handing the take out cup to her.

"How did you know I would be here, darling boy?", she asked.

"A hunch I guess. I just sensed it."

"Well, you always were sensitive, n'est-ce pas? Now tell me all about this new young man of yours", she answered, grinning.

Miss Novak and I go back a long way, and in many ways I feel as if I have known her all my life. We met several years ago on this very spot. But, that was not the first time I had seen her. Actually I had been on the beach late one afternoon when I noticed her, walking with the grace and bearing of someone royal, or, a star. As she came closer I could see that she was older, much older. I would guess early seventies, although her face and skin conceal the true age. She had luxurious blonde hair streaked with white pulled back into a clip at her neck. Her swimsuit was a deep blue, and she wore a chiffon type wrap around her shoulders. Although I could not see her eyes behind the Hollywood starlet sunglasses, I could tell she was magnificently beautiful. One name came to mind, Kim Novak.

The day we met, here I sat, doing what I was doing now, reflecting. She came up behind me then as well. "Would you mind if I sit with you a moment, young man?", she asked in a honey tone reminiscent of bearing. "Not at all, please do.", I had replied, intrigued by this request. We talked for well onto an hour about many things, something we would repeat often over the next several years. I have never truly known her name. I had told her once that she looked like Kim Novak, and when pressed for her actual name, she said "Miss Novak, will do. And I shall call you Mr. Cusack because you remind me of that magnificent young actor." That was fine with me. I've always had a thing for John Cusack, and I have been told I somewhat resemble him.

I've spent many mornings with Miss Novak, and my Tales of Summer would have to include her for them to be truly told. On this morning, I gave her a present. Inside was a new wrap for the beach, hand-embroidered on the back in gold were the words, No Autographs Today Please. After all, a star should not be bothered as she is walking the beach reflecting, or sitting with her Mr. Cusack discussing life.

Come Fly With Me

BF is extremely sweet. Not just to me, but to everyone. This is a dangerous thing. No really. You see, that innocence is a trap. Case in point:

Friday evening, sitting outside enjoying another muggy evening, BF asks me if I had any specific plans the next day. I said, "No, not really", without even another thought as to the fact that those three words could have meant my death.

He said, good. And got quiet. I asked why. "I have a surprise planned". All he would tell me was that it was something I had never done on the island before.

I love spontaneity. I honestly do. But. I loathe surprises. I'm sure it goes back to my childhood with some clown showing me his penis at a birthday party, but whatever the reason, I blocked it out (Hmmm, that gives me an idea for my next birthday party!).

He wouldn't say anything else all evening about it no matter how I tried to pry it out of him, even when I threatened him when my teeth were around his - oh that's too much information.

The more I had thought about it, the more I thought that this wouldn't be that much of a surprise. I can't imagine anything I haven't done on this island in the number of years I have been coming here!

So the next morning we hopped in his Jeep (oh I know - he is SO butch), and headed down the boulevard. When he started to turn I was really intrigued, because it looked like we were pulling into a motel, and he parked right next to it.

"Where are we going", I asked. "Right there", he said, pointing at the marina.

This weekend I did something I had never done before (because I was too afraid to try)and I have this wonderful guy who remembered I mentioned it months ago in passing.

I went Parasailing. Oh. My. God. It was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I am going to have to keep my eye on this one!

I feel dirty

.

It was the first night of my official vacation and I had gotten to the shore early. BF wasn't coming down until the next day.

HSNB was down for the weekend, so it was just the two of us that evening. I showed him some of the cooler spots on the lower end of the island, like the nature reserve, before we stopped off for dinner at the Marlin. I figured he would like the Marlin - it's full of young breeder types looking to get together and hopefully get a little action.

The food was good, and we got into some really deep discussions about when I knew I was gay, when I really was sure. The conversation drifted to high school and college and what it was like for gay men back then. By now, we had been there long enough for the band to start. He eventually found a blond augmented female to dance with, and he kept begging me to come out onto the dance floor with them. I did. While we were dancing he kept bumping into me, grabbing me, rubbing up against me, and all I could think was that he had had too much to drink. So we headed off for the house, without the blond flotation device holder.

The evening progressed with more discussion and wine, as it often does. I noticed during the conversation that he seemed to keep coming back to the topic of my understanding when I was gay. He commented often about how hot I looked with a tan, and if he were gay he would be all over me.

At one point I had gotten up to go to the bathroom, with all intentions of returning and announcing that I was done and headed to bed. By the time I had gotten back, he too had gotten ready for bed it seemed. He was dressed only in his boxer briefs. Of course, I announced I was heading for bed....soon. I was not going to miss the view!

I have to admit all of the talk to that point had confused me, and had me twelve shades of horny. He kept at it too, talking about how he wondered what it was like for two men to have sex, and asking me specific details. The wine and the conversation and the man had done me in. When I finally could take no more, I started in to bed, stopping in the kitchen to get coffee ready for morning.

HSNB said he was getting ready for bed too. He stopped off in the bathroom, and then re-appeared in the kitchen dressed for bed. Apparently he sleeps au naturale. He was leaning against a door and just sort of smiling. I was pointing due north. I grabbed him and pinned him against the door and started to kiss him, hard but tender, my hands roaming all over him.

It was then that I woke up - alone in the house - and realized I had just come the closest to having my first ever wet dream. The first words out of my mouth were..."What the hell was that?"

Back to life, back to reality

Vacation was....frelling incredible. I would say it is good to be back - but I would be lying! There are going to be many many tales coming from this one. But I'm keeping it simple today. The BF made me promise that I would give up the internet for the week last week, or he would cut me off. No, not off the internet, off him.

I only caved once, when I checked email while he was in the shower. I purposely didn't enjoy myself the next time we were in bed as punishment. No, really. Well. Maybe just a little bit.

I did do a lot of writing on the novel last week, but I had to do it manually. The old-fashioned way. So there will be a lot of transcribing to do.

Well enough for today - lots of work to catch up on. Oh and bonus points today if you know where the title of this post came from. More tales tomorrow. I think I will start with my kissing HSNB.

I get the tingly sensation of a cool breeze

Well I did it again. You know who (I said I would stop talking about him but I can't tell this without it) stopped me as I was about to get into the shower.

He had that look in his eye, and I wasn't sure what he was up to. Ah, something behind his back. The Trimmer! Oh great, another session of lawn care 101. So here's the deal. I can't stand taking the time to do regular shaving let alone trying to knock down a whole forest, so if he wants to do it for me, let him.

I warned him to keep it clinical and professional because I was already running late for work thanks to the morning wakeup he gave me. Let me just say, that if it's a day that ends in Y, he's more than ready. Me, after about 4 times I gotta have a break...for at least a day.

I told him I did have some problems with the aftermath of the trimming, with some itchiness. Before you think what you are thinking, it's not shaving, just trimming. But I still get itch from - oh never mind, you get the idea. So he mentions to me that if I use some conditioner "down there" it will help ease that situation. Now that made total sense to me.

So after the logging crew has completed leveling the forest, I jump in the shower. I wash up, and wash my hair, then I grab the conditioner and spread it generously over the nether regions. Ten seconds later it hit me. The expensive conditioner that my stylist conned me into buying has both peppermint and tea tree oil as ingredients.

Twenty seconds later I was screaming.

He is never touching me again. Okay, he can touch me, but not with anything that cuts.

So what's your deal? (The party.)

HSNB had asked me to come over for the evening. He had said he was inviting some of his friends over for an impromptu get-together. I have met many of his friends in the past when we've gone out together. Usually though, it's been in a very loud club and conversation as a group was at a minimum. I had no idea whether they knew if I was gay or not. And I had never really thought to ask HSNB.

Once they had all shown up, I did actually know most of them and by name (Phone numbers - can't remember, but names I'm good at). It was quite a mixed group. Good conversation, good wine, good beer, good grief I'm starting to have a great time and I was getting a buzz.

One of the crowd was a gorgeous gorgeous hunk of beef, a little loud, a little overbearing, and a little - how should we say - full of himself, monopolizing conversations. I hadn't really talked to him, but then again most people didn't talk to him. They couldn't. He never gave them the chance.

I was talking to a rather attractive (Ok I just realized all of his friends are attractive) blond of the hetero female species. We were talking Oscars of all things. I felt a hand on my shoulder spin me around. It was that guy. HSNB was with him, and he introduced him.

"Joey, this is one of your fellow paesans, Anthony."

Oh dear goddess, he's a GUIDO! I should have known.

He shook my hand (practically wrenching it from the socket), and gave me a "Yo, wazzup". Oh great, a Guido who thinks he's all street.

I sort of answer him, kind of flustered by his overbearing presence. That's when he looked at me and said, "So, what's your deal?".

I swear in the 3 seconds it took me to respond, Rome could have been built. I felt a sudden panic. I swore I was drenched in sweat with cold air blasting at me. My brain didn't seem like it would engage. Was he going to out me? Was this big old Guido going to beat me to a pulp just for existing? Quick, some response, just squeak something out.

"What do you mean, Anthony?"

Oh fantastic. Now that was a response that would get me out of any situation. I had a chance to steer this away from any dangerous waters but my brain goes all W on me.

"How do you know HSNB?"

Oh. Ohhhhhhhhh. The waters were calm after all. I am truly an idiot.

Afterwards, when I asked HSNB if any of his friends knew I was gay, he laughed it off and said the coolest thing.

"Why would I tell anyone that. That's your business. Besides, no one would care. Except maybe Trisha (the blonde), and of course Anthony. They were both hot after your ass. I actually invited Anthony thinking you two might hit it off."

Hi. Have you met me? My name is Joey NAIVE-AS-HELL Destino.

I loves me some Yankees!

How cool is it when your boyfriend forwards you a picture like this one!

Of course, he knows a have a soft spot for the Yankees. And a hard place in my pants heart for Derek Jeter in particular.

May i just say that if I was Gary Sheffield, I would try and kiss him just the same way! And my hand would be exactly there!

Ah, the Boys of Summer. And Young Love. Makes me all misty. All over.

So what's your deal?

I was sitting on HSNB's patio, talking with some of his friends, most of whom I had met before. This one guy who I had not met suddenly turns to me, the only gay man (as far as we know) at the gathering, looks me straight in the eye and says, "So what's your deal?". I was taken back a few years, when I had heard that before...

It was summer. I was struggling to make ends meet as a young college grad in the big city. My day job didn't cover all of the bills, and I had taken a job in a club as a waiter. I soon learned that quick service, a smile, and allowing myself to be groped meant big tips! Oh sure, I am shy and demure, but I am also actor you know.

I was doing so well, that I was asked to fill in as a bartender during the week. Tuesday nights were notoriously slow, so I was able to get to know the regulars' personal lives. The chatty ones anyway. There was one guy in particular that never really said much, at least not to me. He stared a lot, but then again they all did. Bartender is high on the food chain in gay nightlife. I had a quick reputation as being "unattainable" because I didn't just follow home any guy who asked.

But this guy had the most piercing blue eyes that seem to stare through you. He obviously took care of himself for his age. Very hard body. Always an Izod shirt and jeans, gold bracelet, gold watch. Always twenties on the bar, tipped well, drank Scotch Rocks. Chivas. Always polite. But never said much past hello.

Until one night, he looked at me as I put his drink on the bar, and he said, "So what's your deal?".

His name was Paul. He was in Securities. And he was into me. I was only 22 at the time, and he was in his late thirties. Scandalous I know! But I was attracted to older men at that time, and for quite some time after he was gone from my life.

I don't remember how I answered him the first time he had spoken, but I remember that no one had said that to me since. Until now. One little phrase brought back a flood of memories of that summer, and the man who treated me like gold. He had asked me on a beach abroad that summer to spend the rest of my life with him. Many times you wonder - what if? Had I spent my life with him, who would I be now?

Accounting

Seasonal rental share on Jersey shore house: $4500.00

Dinner with friends (Fresh Barnegat Bay scallops): $28.95

Six bottles of wine shared with friends: $83.00

Tracing your boyfriend's tan line with your tongue: Priceless

Oh good grief, not a post about him again.

What is it that attracts someone to someone else? I don't mean just "Wow, he's hot!", I mean truly attracted. By now you all know that I originally started talking about my boyfriend here as The College Boy.

He was a teaching assistant for one of my classes. I have known him for over two years, and it was only in the past six months that we have had a relationship.

Yes, the relationship part started out as just sex. Oh be quiet, I know I broke my own rule about not having sex with someone I was interested in seeing romantically. What I didn't realize, or maybe fooled myself into not acknowledging, was that I was romantically interested in him. I have been for a long time. Granted, he is younger, but only by a few years.

We have had a number of in-depth discussions, and as it turns out, I was the one being stalked and didn't know it. He was after me. For two years. And I didn't see it coming. I said my middle name was naive, but no one believed me.

I always thought he was just a safe friend, someone who I poured my heart out to over Kirk because he was distanced from my inner circle of friends and could be objective. What I didn't realize is that it was much more. On both sides. I started dating and was just not all that interested in the guys I was seeing. Supermarket guy was too controlling, etc etc.

And the whole time there he was, just waiting to see if I would ever feel the same about him. He is very intelligent. Intelligent enough to see what I couldn't. He has stolen my heart.

Life's a Beach

Well I am sorry to say that I have experienced a huge loss. My old Dell workhorse has gone home to the great god Chip.

I got home last week, powered him up, and...no boot. In my infinite wisdom I left my laptop here at the shore so, no blogging for Joey for the week.

So let's catch up. The week at home was hot. No not that kind of hot, I mean 90+ degree hot. Very odd for June, but then again the weather this year has been odd. Here at the shore however, it's been gorgeous. The days are in the 80s, but there is a wonderful sea breeze which keeps it feeling much cooler.

This weekend, no BF. I know he wanted to be here. He is as much a shore rat as me, but life prevailed. I share this house with two friends, so I wasn't alone. Next weekend HSNB will be down as well. Millions of fantasies are running through my mind let me tell you!

I'm sure some people would ask why I summer in the "Jersey Hamptons" instead of someplace more befitting my orientation. I've been to Rehobeth, and Fire Island. Lots of hot boys sure, but I would prefer to have my summer without all the pretense. I spend my week listening to people bitch and moan, and I don't want to spend my weekends with all of the drama!

Yes there are plenty of gay people here. I know most of them that are local, and the tourists I can usually pick out very quickly. Most of them seem to have the mindset I do, and most are couples. There are no gay bars or clubs on the island, but I've never run across any problems in the nightlife here.

I've been told I'm an assimilator. I don't agree. I'm just me, living my life the way I want. Amd these days, I'm absolutely loving it.

Am I Blue?

Not really. It's been a great great week. Work was, well okay it's work, but it was a good week. I'm really looking forward to the weekend. It's been pouring rain here all day, so I decided I would just head down the shore tomorrow (That's a Philly phrase by the way- pronounced dunnashore). The BF was originally going to drive down himself tomorrow, so this works out better.

We have tickets tomorrow night to see the musical "Shenandoah" at the Surflight theatre in Beach Haven. BF has never seen it. That's one of the nice things about him. I get to expose him - to theatre that is. He's been before, but not extensively, so it's mostly a new world to him. Lucky for him, and me, he enjoys it.

Do you like the new look? I thought it was time to do away with the darker look for summer. This pretty much fits my mood now anyway. I'll post this weekend if I can drag myself off the beach long enough!

To say it was a fabulous weekend would be an understatement. I really do not have the words to describe what it is like to be back at the shore. I left at 4:30 yesterday morning to make the 2.5 hours commute back to work, so as to avoid the hellish rush. I was at work early and even had a fantastic work day. I was "on". Code was flying out of my fingertips all day.

I had a house full of people over the weekend. Having all of my friends around me was sheer joy. Good food, good conversation, the official unveiling of the boyfriend (okay most know him already but this was different. No words to describe that either- at least not yet).

The best part of the weekend - morning beach walks alone. The closest thing to meditation I get. I feel extremely centered again.

There were some awkward moments, some sad moments, and one where I was in our favorite bakery down the street and ordered the danish that Kirk loves. Loved. And it hit me. A huge wave of loss and sadness. So danish and I went to the beach. I sat staring out at the water, tears streaming. By the time I finished the danish, his danish, I was laughing. We had done this together so many times in the past, and I just got the sense that he was there. And I knew he always would be in my heart. I knew coming back to this place, this house, would be tough. Little did I know it was what I needed most. I needed to let go. Finally.

Summer At Last

Well I have officially taken residence in the shore house for the summer, here in beautiful Beach Haven, NJ. It's been a great weekend so far, and I am really not looking forward to returning back to PA on Tuesday.

We've been out to breakfast, and are about to go to the beach to get some sun. The BF should be arriving at some point this morning. He called me to say he was leaving a while ago.

Hope you are all having a great weekend!

Again

Then. Kirk.
I was sitting in the chair across the room. The only sound that mattered came from the bed, his breathing. The sun was just starting to appear over the horizon. As I took a momentary fleeting glance at the azure, the lapis lazuli, the white wisps of clouds, my mind could not blot out this singular thought. My life had forever changed and there would be no going back.

I had been sitting there watching him for what seemed like hours. In fact, it was only minutes. When I woke up in my bed his arm was around me, his cheek against the back of my head. His whispered words, spoken hours before, still hung in the air. "I will always love you". If I had slept at all after that point, I truly don't know.

As the light through the window began to increase, I slipped out of his grasp ever so slowly as to not waken him. From where I then sat, watching him sleeping ever so soundly, he was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I never wanted that night to end. Like the perfect beautiful balloon I was given as a young child, I was afraid this too would break. As he stirred I realized that this was the moment, the last moment of perfection.

Now. BF.
I am sitting in a chair across the room. The only sound that matters comes from the bed, his breathing. When I woke up in my bed his arm was around me, his cheek against the back of my head. His whispered words, spoken hours before, still hung in the air. "I love you". My mind can not blot out this singular thought. My life has again changed forever and there will be no going back.

I have been sitting here watching him for hours, and from where I sit, he is so beautiful. As he stirs I realize I am again experiencing perfection. I am terrified.

I'm just oriented that way

I just don't get the fascination with pussies. Nope. Never did. Now I know lots of guys that like pussies. And some of you just live for that pussy of yours. If someone took that pussy away from you, you would just shrivel up. But honestly I don't see the attraction.

Even Jen has a pussy. She's always stroking the damn thing. I truly love her. She is one of my closest and dearest friends, but, she's got a really ugly pussy.

Some of you will do anything for that pussy. You will buy expensive gifts and food. And what do you get in return? Moods. Most of the time they just want their independence. And after they know they have you hooked, they just lay around and get fat. How's that for a return on investment? Oh sure, they're warm, love to be stroked, and feel like velvet, but did you ever get one all wet? Ugh. A wet pussy. That's just gross.

I, however, have always been fond of what is right now between my legs. I've known ever since I was child that I could always reach down and play with my puppy. I knew that whenever I had no one else to play with, I could go to my room and stroke my puppy for hours. My friends and I used to get together all the time and you can just bet that we were playing with each others puppies.

Now that I am older, those carefree days are delightful memories. These days, I play with my cocker. Yep, always right there between my legs. It's an average size cocker, but oh so beautiful. I take my cocker everywhere. Everyone remarks how beautiful it is and they all want to stroke it, or grab it's balls. It loves that.

I fell in love with my boyfriend partly because he just can't seem to keep his hands off my cocker. And I've always said - love me, love my dog.

City lust

Yes I have it. Great lust for all of you who live in the big city. You leave your homes, get on the train, and go to work.

You have no idea how much fun it is to live in the suburbs where we leave our homes, get in our cars, and get on the expressway to risk life and limb every day. Why is it so dangerous you ask?

I like to call them, the living stupid. The multi-taskers. I apologize to those of you who are one of these people, and I implore you. Stop it. Now.

Just this past week, I have been behind or next to people who have been driving and:

Eating Breakfast.
Talking with their phone on one hand while gesticulating with the other. Neither hand anywhere near the steering wheel.
Reading the newspaper.
Reading a book.
Digging for - well you can figure that out.
Putting on makeup.
And. This one still stuns me. Plucking her eyebrows.

Dear goddess smite these people before they kill someone. But please do it before they get behind the wheel of their car.

Brooding

Random thoughts today...

Work continues to kick my ass. Luckily finals are over and I can concentrate. Blogger has been a pita too. I posted twice this week by email. Oh, you didn't see those posts? Neither did I. I think I need to make that decision about changing soon.

The wonderful weather we've had has had an evil side effect. No not that, even though I am hornier during the warm months, as you probably already know. Thanks to the delayed spring, lots of torrential rain, followed by warm sun, everything grew and blossomed at once. Which meant dangerously high pollen levels. I haven't had allergy problems for several years, but this year I am existing on mass quantities of antihistamines. So are many many people I know. Ugh. Ever have a hot guy lying on top of you in bed, nuzzling your neck, whispering "oh baby" in your ear, and you had to push him off because you had to blow your nose? Good times.

A certain calm

Yes. It's true. Calm has settled around my life again. After a day or two of my contemplating my continued existence within the great Kingdom of the Corporate world, calm has returned again. I worked feverishly to do some rework and have proven that I am good at what I do. Weeks of anticipated sweat, meetings, and late nights have been avoided.

But I am a summer boy. And the continued chill had a lot to do with my general disposition and demeanor this week. I long for long lazy warm summer days at the shore. Days spent soothed by the rhythm of the waves. My brain soothed by the passing of hot tanned boys. Sigh.

All's well in JoeyTown.

Ugh

Did you ever have one of those days? No not one of those. I mean - one of Those. A day when the next person that speaks is seriously messing with their continued ability to suck oxygen.

BF decided not to come over last night because I wanted to get an early start on my day today. So. Day starts with crappy weather. Car windows have to be scraped. The commute-that-sucks-out-my-soul becomes a foggy nightmare. Get to work early, but 35 minutes later than I wanted to be there.

Day continues with client meetings. Clients who decided they wanted a new focus. Months of work to be redone. Did I mention no lunch?

Leave work over an hour late and because of it, I am in traffic. That. Does. Not. Move.

Get home. Empty out pockets. Notice that cell phone has been off all day. Power on cell phone. Receive messages. Many messages. Mama Destino called 4 times. Thinks I'm dead. Jewish mothers do not have the market cornered on guilt. Doctor's office called. Could I stop in before the end of the day to have my blood work redone? The results were "a cause for concern, but a second set will allow us to confirm". It's a thyroid people. The levels shift!

BF calls. Asks, "how was your day?". Avoid impulse to hang-up. Or cry. Instead simply say, "Babe, I had a really really bad day". Twenty minutes later he is massaging my back.

It is safe for you to walk the streets again. Mankind is saved by a kind man.

I'm a what?

My friend Jen really dislikes it when I or someone else call her my fag hag. I never really give it much thought, as it's a term that's been used for a very long time. Last night during a belabored discussion between the two of us stemming from an incident earlier in the week involving HSNB, I started to wonder whether or not it really is a valid term anymore. Basically a fag hag is a straight woman, close to a gay man, who likes to hang out with a bunch of gay men.

First of all, I hate the word fag used in reference to me or anyone else who was born gay. Growing up, anyone calling me a fag usually was shown that I had a great left hook, for a fag or otherwise.

The other word in that label is hag. Visually Jen is not a hag. She is quite attractive. So's the man she chose to marry - but I try to block him out of my mind. He's just not- well, let's say pretty- on the inside.

So in this age of enlightenment (pertaining only to those not within the Religious Reich), is there a better term?

Jen called me HSNB's fag hag the other day. That's what started this whole diatribe between us. Now HSNB is not a fag (oh dear goddess were it so!). And I am not, nor will I ever be, a hag. But HSNB and I do spend a lot of time together. He is one of my closest friends. When we go out together to those homosexually-challenged places I do sometimes feel like the token gay man. So what is the term for a gay man, who is close to a straight man, who hangs out with a bunch of straight men?

Sigh. Somedays being an adult is hard.

I thought you said landscaping

There are many, many interesting and important things going on in the world right now. You would think I would have an opinion on most anything that I could share with you here. And I do.

But not today.

So. We are in bed the other night, and TCB (hereafter known as BF) says something incredible and life-changing to me. The conversation went something like this:

BF: So have you ever thought about chopping down the forest?
jd: Is this an Arbor Day question? (see I can make a post timely and relevant)
BF: Nooooo.
jd: Then what are you talking about?
BF: Have you ever trimmed the bush?
jd: No. The guys do that.
BF: Umm. What guys?
jd: The ones that come to cut the grass.
BF: Oy. That's not what I meant. Are you just playing naive?
jd: Playing? Nope. My middle name is naive.
BF: Okay fine. Have you ever manscaped?

Oh. My. God. I'm just getting over being underwear-challenged and now it seems I am personal-grooming challenged as well.

BF: Are you listening to me?
jd: I'm uh. I mean. Well yeah, I've sort of trimmed. Kinda.
BF: You would look so much better if you did.

Okay, now what do I do - end the relationship because I am insulted or...
So I opt for "or":

jd: So you are saying I look bad? Mama Destino would be SO proud.
BF: No, not at all. It's like your other hair. A fresh cut always makes you look and feel better.
I grant absolution. Dragged himself out of that one!

jd: Ohhhkay.
BF: I could do it for you. I could even shave it if you want.

Okay. My reaction to that was totally unexpected. Little Joey immediately leaptto attention. I whisper in reply:

jd: Ummmm. (pause). Okay.

The next hour or so was amazing. I had never ever let someone "trim the bush". You can not imagine the feeling when someone has a razor in one hand, your testicles in another, and a determined look on their face. At this point I did draw the line. I allowed a trimming. But no razor, oh no.

And you know what? He looked so happy afterwards. My heart truly melted. Again.

Now if I can just get him to mow the lawn....

I got it bad...and good

Spring Fever. Sigh.

I can't stand being indoors anymore. The weather has been tremendous. We went from 20s and 30s and snow to 70s and 80s in just a couple of days. And for the most part, for the past two weeks, it has stayed that way.

Let's just recap Joey's life the past two weeks. It's April. I've been to the shore already. I have the beginnings of a tan. My mind can't concentrate on work or writing. I have a boyfriend. Wait that's not right. I have a... Ok, what is the word for someone who you want to spend all of your time with, who you sleep with most nights, who all of your friends already call your husband, who you are in luh...

Oh.

Well yeah I guess that would qualify it alright. But it's spring. And I just don't know if I am ready to be an "us" when I desperately need to be a "me".

It was only a matter of time.

"I'm just not getting it"

"You will. Just concentrate. You seem distracted."

He was so right. Why wouldn't I be? The course I was in at the time was tough. I've never really excelled at math and as much as I dreaded the thought, I had to take this course. My advisor had told me that there was plenty of support, and a T.A. who was available outside of class.

Well after only a few sessions, I definitely needed the help. So early Saturday morning I dragged myself to campus to the lab. As soon as I opened the door I was distracted. Sweet-Mario-Lopez-on-a-stick. The T.A. was gorgeous. The extremely confident individual that I am, I just wanted to back out of the room and go home. How the hell could I concentrate with him in the room?

I had figured he'd be another condescending jock, not really helpful at all. By the end of the session I got it. The math concepts that is. But I spent a lot of time sneaking glances at his... ummmm..., crotchal area. And damn he smelled good. Every time he leaned in to me my heart raced.

I went back Saturday after Saturday. Was it to see him? Duh. He was really good. At teaching that is. By the end of the semester I was good too. At math. I aced the final and ended up with a B+ overall. I decided as a thank you I would ask him out for a drink. He agreed. We got to know each other much better that night.

And now, two years later.... well you all know him as TCB.

My prince came

Just a few random thoughts today.

The Royal Wedding. Other than the hats that looked like Road Kill climbed on their heads, it was pretty much a non-event. I mean, who cares? No one wants to hear about that man and the horse he married. What we really want to know is, who is doing the princes? I know I for one would! DO them that is. At least William.

Yes, to all of you who emailed me, I do now officially have a boyfriend. I guess it's official because someone mentioned the other night - "Your boyfriend is so cute!" - and I didn't correct them.

I guess you're wondering which one of the boys it is. Well it isn't Prince William. But yes it's one of "the three". I wonder if any of you can figure it out. Go ahead - take a guess.

Gettin Some

Rays that is. It was a fun-filled marvelous weekend! The summer boy is BACK!!!

The boyfriend and I (yes you read that correctly) went to the shore and had a marvelous time. It feels so good to have the sun on my body again. The winter blues are officially gone.

But more about that later. I just wanted to mention someone else's blog. If you do not read chadfox, you should. Not only is he hella sexy, but he is a marvelous writer, the kind I want to grow up to be. SO go read his blog. I'll be here when you get back.

Out of the closet

Okay. I'll admit it. I watch American Idol.

Since you now know my secret, I decided I'm going to share with you my thoughts of the show. Being a musically trained actor, I am going to be very egotistical and say I know what I am talking about when it comes to other singers. Then again, most people on AI really aren't singers. They are wanna pop stars. And this week they decide to tackle MY medium. Broadway. Oh the humanity!

So with that being said, here's my thoughts of the show, as it happens:

Scott Savol - not a bad rendition of Impossible Dream, as Simon would say, for karoake. He had never heard the song before. Man I feel old. I wanted to like this boy at the start of the season, but he's not going to last. Especially since we found out about the assault charge. Just go home boy.

Constantine - OH. MY. GOD. My Funny Valentine. Stud you need to come sing that song to me!!!! And wear that velvet blazer. And nothing else. I damn near poked a hole in my pants! And please, during the interview section , could someone please move that damn banner so I can see his crotch!

Carrie Underwood - Hello Young Lovers. Good Lord she sucked. And the judges of course loved her. As usual. Saint Mary Martin is spinning in her grave. She's a country singer, and on the wrong show! Ryan Sucksdick asked her when she had heard that song for the first time. She said, and I quote, LAST THURSDAY!!! Are she and Scott living under rocks? Sweet Nellie Forbush save me from this group!

Oh yea. Fantasia will be on next week. There's a reason to find something else to do that night!

Vonzell - People from Funny Girl. She was very proud to let us know that she knew that it was a Barbara song. And it was a movie too! Thanks for doing your homework! It wasn't bad. Oh no she di'nt! Paula said Barbra can't hit an EFlat. Oh please woman. Take another frelling drink and shutup. Oh and Vonzell, toile is out honey.

Anthony Federov - Climb Every Mountain. Oh he looks hot. And he's from Philly. He has gorgeous eyes. This boy is a pop star. Absolutely. Wonderful. Bet the judges trash him as usual. This show is so skewed. Randy - didn't like it. Paula did. Simon of course called it hideous. Why do they even bother with the judges? They picked who they wanted to promote at the beginning of the season, and that's how they tailor their comments. Why do I watch this?

Nikko. One Hand One Heart. At least he knew the show! Based on his totally off-key version, if he was playing Tony, Maria would shoot him. Twice. At least. Bet the judges love him. Randy - loved him. Paula - thinks he is the next American Idol. Well at least Simon noticed it was off-key. I give up.

Anwar - If Ever I Would Leave You. Well finally he sings a song that matches his talent. But I have to say, I am not a big fan of warbling around notes. He was very good - despite that faux pas - very good.

Bo - Corner of the Sky. He never heard of the song before. I really like him. But he is SO out of his element. He is mangling the lyrics. Some really bad notes. Let's just say, he will never do Broadway. Randy and Paula thought he was awesome. Sheesh. I'd do him though. Just sayin'.

Nadia - As Long As He Needs Me. Oh my. She looks amazing. That's what I would look like in drag. If I was dark-skinned. And weighed less. And had those cheekbones. The song's pretty good but her phrasing is dreadful. I'd love to hear her do jazz.

So there you have it. Who do I think will go home? Scott. Not very good - and bad press. Who should go home? Nikko Smith. Why do I watch this? I have no clue.

I give up

I've tried to post numerous times since Friday, but Blogger has been nothing but constant and consistant problems.

I have to make some decisions. Do I really want to continue the blog? Do I want to continue in this format?

I have a feeling that if I am continue, in whatever format, then I need to run my own server. It's hard to complain about Blogger when I am not really paying them anything.

I don't know. I guess it's like everything else in my life. I can't make a decision.

Kirk hated this about me. It was his biggest pet peeve.

I find myself missing him even more the past week. I think it may be because I've fallen in love. Or is it just like?

I can't decide.

screamy meme

I don't normally get into the meme thing, but I found this one fascinating. I followed the links back through to read everyone's questions and responses, and found some very interesting people! So give it a shot -I'm game. Are you?

via dunner

Ask me 4 questions.
Any 4, no matter how personal, private or random.
I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.
In turn, you post this message in your own blog or journal and you have to answer the questions that are asked of you.
Go.

Urges

Ah, it's Spring! And a man's thoughts turn to...

When the hell did I gain all this weight? I don't remember putting it on. I went to put on my favorite, most comfortable, "boy-my-ass-looks good-in-these" jeans the other day and they were too tight! Of course, I thought, I let them in the dryer too long and they shrunk! Except, I hadn't put them in the dryer.

I blame TCB. All those nights after sex forcing me to go into the kitchen and eat with him. And then there was the whole chocolate mousse episode that I still can't get out of the sheets!

I am going to the gym almost every day, mostly just to look at HSNB's sweaty, straining, body, but that is only making me sore - not thinner! And all this talk about percentage of body fat - oy!

HSNB has promised me a reward if I make my goals. I know what I want as my reward, me feeling better with myself. And one night with HSNB.

Top or Bottom?

I don't know which way is up these days! Work and school have kept me so busy I have no time for myself. But here is a quick recap of recent events:

Bought underwear.
Was told I look sexy in new underwear.
By Jen.
Was told I look hot in underwear.
By TCB.
Offered to pay for optometrist appointment for TCB.
PHM getting antsy because I am never available to do "stuff".
HSNB is killing me at the gym.
How do people torture their bodies like this every day.
Told HSNB I could save time by him just clubbing me with a baseball bat.
Hmmm. That's an extra 45 minutes per day.
Never been into pain*.

*Other than most past relationships.

Spent

Well life has taken an unexpected turn this week. Due to an issue with a client at work I had to go out of town and "fix" it.

I don't know how people do this. I love traveling - at least for pleasure - but not for work! Airport delays, bad hotels, bad service, grumpy Joey. I don't talk about work on my blog because even the popular kids have problems with that area. Besides - I'm a computer geek - not anything all that exciting to tell anyway.

But I am now home. What did I miss?

Phone-a-friend

joey: SO are you going to do it or not?
jen : How the hell did you get yourself into this mess in the first place?
joey: Just lucky I guess.
jen : You are incorrigiable!
joey: Yes, but you love me.
jen: Oh I have emotions attached to you, but love isn't what comes first to mind!
joey: Shit!
jen: Now what?
joey: My frelling shoulder hurts.
jen: I'm going to hate myself for asking this, but how did you hurt your shoulder?
joey: It's not just my shoulder, everything hurts! I was at the gym this morning with HSNB.
jen: Okay you do realize that whole thing is going to go nowhere.
joey: Who says?
jen: The boy is STRAIGHT for HeyZeus sakes! I have a better chance with him!
joey: You are not his type.
jen: Sweetie, I'll try to explain this in English, and hopefully it will translate well to Gay. You aren't his type either. He is not going to marry you!
joey: I don't want to marry him. I just want to have his children.
jen: Why do I bother?
joey: We covered that already. I can't believe they want $120 for these jeans.
jen: Where are you?
joey: At the mall, waiting for you! Why did you think I called you?
jen: Joey, I am not coming to the mall to help you buy jeans. You are a big boy.
joey: I'm not here to buy jeans. I already explained this to you.
jen: I am NOT helping you buy underwear! Ask one of the sales people.
joey: If you saw the guy working in that area you would not make me do this alone! He looks just like Jake Gyllenhaal.
jen: Who?
joey: Never mind. Sometimes you are so gay-challenged
jen: How old are you again?
joey: Bitch. You know you are just jealous.
jen: SO which one are you seeing tonight?
joey: When tonight?
jen: You have become a slut! I am disowning you as my friend. I am not going to be able to be seen with you.
joey: Ok, I am seeing PHM. We are having dinner, and then shopping.
jen: Why don't you have him help you buy underwear?
joey: There's a reason you're single!
jen: I'm not single. I'm married.
joey: I try to shut that out.
jen: Alright, so is the reason you need the underwear because he is sleeping over tonight, finally?
joey: No. At least, I don't think so. Maybe.
jen: Groan. SO why the urgent need for the underwear.
joey: Well, ah, TCB wants to come over, after PHM goes home.
jen: JOEY!!!!
joey: So are you going to help me or not?
jen: (click).

Homo Bone

Is it just me? Do you see what I see? And are all homos descendants of Lucy?

BBCNews Monday, 7 March, 2005, 10:54 GMT

Scientists unearth early skeleton

US and Ethiopian scientists say they have discovered the fossilised remains of one of the earliest human ancestors.
The research team, working in the north-east of Ethiopia, believe the remains of the hominid, or primitive human, date back four million years.

They say initial study of the bones indicates the creature was bipedal - it walked around on two legs.

The fossils were found just 60km (40 miles) from the site where the famous hominid Lucy was discovered.

Lucy (Australopithecus afarensis), whose remains were unearthed in 1974, lived 3.2 million years ago and is thought to have given rise to the Homo line that ended in modern humans.

So many men, so little time

Okay someone explain to me what the hell is up with the frelling weather? It was 67 yesterday. Gorgeous. All the snow melted away. Boys in the park in shorts. Fast forward to today. Twenty degrees, two inches of wet snow, winds over 20mph. Grrrrrr. And not one of my three men here to keep me warm.

Yes you heard me. Three. Trois. Tres. That wonderful New Year's resolution certainly came back to bite me on the ass. Mmmmmmm. Sorry that made me remember Friday night.

So - if I am going to talk about them - and I know you want me to - then let's list the cast of characters:

Hot Straight Neighbor Boy: Very Hot. Very Neighbor. Still straight, but bending. Bending me anyway. I spent most of last week not being able to move thanks to his wish to become my personal trainer. Ever seen the movie "Jeffrey"? Hereafter known as HSNB.

Supermarket Guy: Quickly becoming potential Husband material. We are dating. Often. More news on that to come. Hereafter known as PHM.

The College Boy: I am definitely going to Hell because of this one. There's a crush - but not mine. And to keep with my rule of not sleeping with potential relationship men, I have let him due nasty things to my body. Hereafter known as TCB.

Now that I think about, I am truly doomed. Karma is a cruel bitch. Who said that? Was that Thomas?

Got some last night

Snow. Snow. Snow. 8.1 inches. I am so sick and tired of winter!

Wait, you don't want to hear me rant on about the constant problems getting to and from work thanks to the constant snow. No, I'm sure you'd rather hear about the intense mind-blowing sexual experience I had Saturday. But I'm not going to talk about that. Not really.

See, I have a secret. I once had a brief relationship with someone famous. For some of you that's probably not a big deal, but for a simple boy in his early 20's from Western PA, it's definitely out of the norm.

Yes he was famous back then. Not so much now. He was in town to film a movie. I didn't even know who he was at first. I was out at a club (non-gay) with friends, having a great time dancing and cocktailing. Of course I was checking out all the straight hotties. He was hanging near the DJ, looking like a lost puppy. Smiling, swaying to the beat, not really being social. I hadn't given him much more thought.

All good cocktails must come out at some point, so I made my way to the restroom. We ran into each other on the way in. That cute smile on this boy's face when seen close up made my heart melt. He was so adorable in a geeky sort of way - at least in the clothes and glasses that's how he appeared. The 'dar was pinging away!

We ended up talking and to make a long story short, he came after to my place for coffee. The love-making was awesome. Just awesome. And we ended the night sleeping, him nuzzled up behind me, holding me. Just like Kirk had always done. Making me feel safe.

I knew this was going to be a brief few weeks. He made that clear up front the next morning. He was only here for the shooting and then back to CA.

I've kept the secret all these years. His career has all but flatlined over the years, but even if he had become a superstar, I would never divulge it. That's just not me. What we had was extremely special - my moment with a Prince.

But I was reminded of him again this weekend, when I woke up with a sweet boy's arms around me, nuzzling up behind me, making me feel safe.

So what's in my drawers?

I never really gave my underwear much thought until the night I took off my pants in front of him.

I wear boxer-briefs. I like them. They are supportive where they need to be. The boys like that feeling. I usually buy a certain brand (I'm not saying which because they aren't paying me for the plug). The fit is good. The price is good. The colors are plain. In fact, I buy white and black only.

A few weeks ago, HSNB stayed over during a snow storm. There was no where to go that evening and he had called to find out what I was doing. I had movies and food. He had beer. So he walked over to my place. We laughed and joked all evening. Even after the electricity went out. Well by the time the evening was ending, there was quite a bit of snow. He asked if I minded if he stayed over. Of course I didn't have a problem with it. I would never send a man out into the cold. Besides, I have a fireplace, and he doesn't.

We decided to sleep in the living room because of the fireplace. When I came back downstairs with the blankets and pillows, he was taking off his pants. You have no idea how many times that scene had played in my mind before that! We already know the boy is hot. And I have seen him shirtless, in nothing but shorts, during the summer. But man, this was different.

Of course I took off my clothes as well. And then it happened. He took one look at me in my underwear. His expression changed, his face lighting up as if it were Christmas morning. His mouth opened and in my mind I heard him tell me he wanted me. In reality, he laughed. Then he asked if my budget was that bad that I had to buy department store brand underwear.

Oddly enough I didn't through him out into the snow. In fact, we really became much closer that night. Closer than I expected. He has become something very special to me.

But before I find myself taking off my pants in front of anyone else, I'm going shopping.

A boy's fancy

I've been thinking a lot about love lately.

Are you finally going to talk about your love life?

Umm. Sort of. I haven't mentioned the date, or anything else going on with that area of my life.

We've been chomping at the bit for almost two weeks to hear the details of THE date!

Yeah, yeah, I know. It was a very good date, as dates go. Dinner, movie, lots of talking.

And...

Sorry, none of that. I never do that on a first date. Or second. Or third. In fact, I'm one of those who believes in truly getting to know the person before engaging in, intimacy.

Oh, what a load of crap. You've told us about the various nights that you, how did you put it - "Got some"!

Ah, there is the difference. Sex is a good thing. But the very rare instance where I meet someone, usually in an inebriated state, and engage in "getting some" (did I actually say that?) is different than getting to know someone and entering into a relationship.

Whatever. So what's the deal with the guy?

Well neither one of us are in our twenties any more, and we are both looking for something - well - permanent. So we are spending our time getting to know each other.

And?

God you people are inquistive! Alright. I find him fascinating, and charming. And handsome. Oh so witty. Well read. And yes, we have spent some time together over the past week or so. Flowers arrived at my office on VD/BD. Late night phone calls are happening asking about my day, etc...

So does this mean...?

No. Yes. Ummm. Maybe. We'll see. Oh leave me alone.

They SO did it.

I agree!

Out! All of you!

The boys are back!

Ah, the boys of summer!

My heart is starting to feel glad again. Signs of spring are peaking out all over. The most important portent - today was the first day of Spring Training (that's Baseball for all of you non-Americans).

I have always loved baseball. Some of my fondest memories are of spending time with my Dad tossing a ball or going to a game. I was never good at baseball either (bad hand-eye coordination), but I spent a lot of time cheering on friends at American Legion games.

Yeah, I know. A gay man who likes sports. I do. I'm not fanatic about sports, but I do love a good game. Basketball -not so much. But baseball makes me think about the memories, and summer. Life is good.

Oh, the guy over there - that's Pat Burrell of the Phillies - my future husband.

My parents had sex...

It's true. I am the result. Today is the day I take stock of gray hair, waist size, and hairline. That's why I avoid this day every year. Yes, it's my birthday. Am I celebrating? No. Well. Actually, I did this weekend. But that's a story for tomorrow. Let's just say it was a good weekend.

Do you realize the horrible paradox of having a birthday on Valentine's Day? When you are single?

Sigh.

Wanna be my valentine?

Shopping for meat

He called...... No, not him, he calls all the time. HIM! You know, the guy from the supermarket!

I have been giddy as a schoolgirl ever since. After the infamous store incident, we did actually talk on the phone a few times, and we met for coffee. But, as happens in my life, he was supposed to call, but didn't. And Mama Destino always said, "If he doesn't call, then he's no good!". Okay she said that to my sister, but I got the idea.

What's that you say? Was his excuse plausible? Oh who cares, the man is Grade A Beef on a stick! And intelligent, and funny, and...

Sigh.

So I said sure, I would go out with him this weekend. Of course I told him he was paying for dinner! He owes me for not calling. My sister taught me that.

You want me to do what?

I know what he is doing. It took me a while to figure it out. He is trying to recruit me. I'm convinced! I should have known when I saw him shirtless on his stoop in the summer that he had a plan.

HSNB and I have spent a lot of time together since Thanksgiving, and I thought we were becoming friends. Sure, he's straight, but I don't let that bother me. I'm not a heterophobe. Whoever those people want to sleep with is their business.

I let him take me to straight bars and clubs, and while that is really not my thing, I had fun. I had gotten to meet some of his straight friends, and most are actually interesting - although a couple of them really do perpetuate that stereotype. You know, extremely masculine, sports oriented, and the talk is all butch.

Well this weekend was the last straw. I had a few beers, so I wasn't really in charge of my faculties, and he seduced me. Yes it's true. I let him have his way. He kept pleading with me, and looking at me with those eyes. I gave in. I played around with him. Outside. In the common ground. Where everyone can see. I woke up the next morning hoping it was all a bad dream, and I wouldn't talk about it.

Let me tell you, I suck at football. And I am sore.

This looks somehow familiar

Finally, it's Super Bowl Sunday.

That means I won't have to endure that stupid Eagle's fight song much longer. I mean, come on, at least come up with a new song that people who can't sing (like everyone on the news) can't butcher.

Even though I live in Philly, I have a hunch the Pats may win. But you never know. It's a good match-up.

On the personal front - it was a tough week last week. Lots of work, and committments to fulfill. The weather has gotten a touch warmer. The snow is slowly disappearing and the dead grass is making an appearance here and there. Spring may be just around the corner. So what did I do last night? Ummm. Hmmm. The pic is a clue.

Hungry for Beef?

Random Thoughts...

I'm adding a new adjective to me. Disenfranchised. That's all I'm saying about "the speech".

Very tired. It's been a long day, in a long week. And it's only Wednesday.

I'm actually liking the new "Queer Eye". Maybe it's just that it's a different cast. As long as Thom Filicia is not on the show, I'm happy. I stopped shopping at Pier One because of him. In fact, I only truly care for Kyan. Everytime I see him, I just wish that I could switch places with him for one night. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to be under Robert Gant?

Speaking of wanting to be under, HSNB was over this evening to return a shirt I forced him to wear after he slept over he borrowed.

Did I mention I have a birthday coming up? Sigh. I never celebrate it. After all, it truly just means acknowledging that my parents actually had sex, and I was the result.

The pic is Billy Currington, country singer. I'm thinking I need to listen to more country.

Nice Board

I guess it's part of my overall mood lately. Something my doctor (gay and gorgeous and partnered) calls SAD. Seasonal Affected Disorder. Don't ya just love labels.

But I've been feeling, well, nostalgic lately. I'm missing people in my past. Why is it that we come into each other's lives and then just drift away? I talk to almost no one from college anymore, let alone that horror that was high school.

I've been in several relationships with people, none of whom I talk to anymore. Oh wait, there are reasons for that distance. All well deserved.

There have been people in my life that have had great impact, deep friendships, with whom I shared so much. But they have all drifted away.

Being in theatre is a lot like that too. A cast comes together and shares so much, and no matter how much you say they you are going to keep in touch, get together, go for drinks, it rarely happens. We all go on with our lives. All to different destinations.

Sigh.

Maybe I just need the sun, the warmth.