"Hey Pook."

He was the last person I had expected to see that evening. I work with a number of different live theatres in this area and one of my friends from this particular theatre had asked if I would help out, filling in as an usher and doing hospitality set up. I had to see the show anyway, so I of course said yes ("no" does not seem to be in my vocabulary). I had no idea he was in the cast.

The last I had seen Matt was the night we ended our relationship. In fact, in terms of my matured life, it could hardly have been called a relationship. It was indeed one of the several of those extremely intense, brief-lived, passionate-beyond-belief romances I have had in my life. It ended as it began, with a long look, a touch on the hand, but with a goodbye instead of a hello. He was classically handsome - in other words, not my type. But he had a way of making me feel special, as if I was the only one in the world that mattered. I have never had that feeling again in my life.


So there I was in the theatre green room, arranging cookies and struggling with an ancient coffee pot, all the while trying to be unobtrusive so the cast could "prepare". I could sense someone come up behind me, but I thought nothing of it. And then I heard that hypnotic baritone voice that had once made me melt in place. "Hey Pook". The years melted, as did I, and I could remember how his arms felt when he held me. Only it wasn't a memory. His arms were around me. And he had whispered that nickname in my ear. And he kissed the back of my neck. And I was 22 all over again.

A witty post? Well probably not, I'm not Thomas. Especially not today. All I've wanted in the past year is to be me. First and foremost. Independence. Why then would I care if someone doesn't want to be a part of my life in a more intimate way than friendship?

Maybe if I am going to use this space to explore that area of me, then I will need to get that bio page done. So if anyone ever reads this - it may make some sense.

Let me just say this though - I didn't think he would fit the criteria. He did. Most likely all points too.

Why me? Why is it always when I let the fence down, let the crack in the armor, and think - just for a brief second - that maybe this time..... That's when it comes..... Those words..... Those awful words..... "but we can still be friends".

Why do I let myself go through it? Why not just be done with it all. What is it that makes me let someone get past my personal firewall only to have them decide once they are in that I am only sidekick material? I'm starting to think that when my mother was giving birth that she focused on that Munch painting.

Name:
Joey Destino

Hometown:
Pittsburgh, PA

Current Residence:
Valley Forge, PA

Occupation:
For pay - Sr. Software Engineer -
For little to no pay - Actor, Singer, Director, Artist, Set Designer, Web Developer, Would Be Writer -

Age:
30 Something

Education:
BA, Bus. Admin; Currently working on my Masters.

Status:
In a committed monogamous relationship

Kids:
She Who Must Be Served

Eighteen Questions:

1. Who do you admire the most and why?
Anyone who is self-assured.

2. What would you have as your last meal if you were on death row?
Ben and Jerry's anything. Salad. Pasta. Steak. and Crabcakes.

3. What is your earliest memory?
Being on a carousel horse at a carnival.

4. If you had 3 wishes, what would your 3rd wish be?
Simple. 3 more wishes.

5. If you had to be blind or deaf, which would you choose?
Neither.

6. Have you ever been dared to do something where the risk exceeded the reward (ie. jump off a building for a penny)?
Everytime I fell in love.

7. If you were forced to live the rest of your existence in a fictional world from a movie, book and TV show which ones would you select?
Movie: LOTR
Book: Any of the Pern novels
TV Show: Hmmm. Gilligan's Island

8. If you had a superpower, which superpower would it be and why?
Invisibility. I think you can figure that one out.

9. What is your favourite vegetable?
Peas.

10. In how many different languages do you know the meaning of at least one word?
6 or 7

11. What did you want to be when you were a child?
A Broadway Star.

12. What one event (if any) would you change in your personal past if you had the power to do it once?
I would not have let him leave the shore that weekend.

13. What’s the one question you want to be asked of you in an interview?
Job interview - "Would you be willing to accept x Million a year".
Media interview - "So how does it feel to have won your 5th consecutive Best Actor Tony, right after having won the Pulitzer Prize for your latest novel?"

14. Have you ever cheated death?
Probably.

15. What was the most important decision you’ve ever had to make?
Leaving behind (insert names of people I loved).

16. Which sports team do you support the most, and why?
Dyed in the wool Penguins fan.

17. Mobile phones (cellphones) - evil or good?
How did I live without one?

18. What is your favourite song at the moment?
10/18/04: Remember when it rained - Josh Groban