If you have not seen this movie...



Go rent it NOW!!!

This is one of the top 5 best gay-themed movies I have ever seen.

Part 2.

There is always that one love, greater than any other. The one love that touches you so deeply that you never ever forget it. You know what I mean. There is always the one. No matter how many times you love in your life, there's that one. I think I have spent my life trying desparately no matter how unconciously to recreate it. That was Kirk.

We became friends the minute we met. And remained so ever since. For months we were the dynamic duo, totally inseparable. I know what you're thinking, but no we were just friends. We double-dated anytime we dated. Never once was there anything overtly sexual about our relationship. No one ever gave it a thought. Neither did I. Except in fantasy. In December we went to the Christmas formal together, with our dates, and all had a fantastic night. The roommate (El Stud, according to him) was at the girlfriend's for the night so Kirk came back to my room while I changed. We had planned on going back out. I'll spare you the details but we did end up together in bed that night. He was the first man I ever slept with.

In the middle of the night, as we lay there wrapped around each other, my back to him, he hugged me a little tighter. I truly think he thought I was asleep. He leaned into my neck, nuzzled it, and whispered ever so quietly... "I will always love you."

Of course, neither of us at that time would own up to being gay, and sex came only with the excuse that we had been drinking. We did drink a lot more after that night.

We remained an ersatz couple for the rest of our college careers. After graduation we both moved to the city, but not together. Times changed. We didn't, not really. But Kirk was never truly able to admit the truth of it for a long time. When he did, we did give it a try. But he left after several months unable to come to grips with it. He married after impregnating a girl we both knew. His family was ecstatic. I wore black. I was the best man. Obviously. When the baby was born, I spent more time with it than his mother. She and he, were no longer she and he after four months. Pattern maybe?

We spent the rest of the years as close friends, every couple of years again making love, but never for long. Men came and went in my life. But none was Kirk. This summer, he made his recently annual trek to the shore to spend time with me. We had deep conversations that I will never forget. He proposed to me after a lot of tequila. If only. He left several days later to his life, and I to mine.

I had just come back from an evening walk on the beach and was showering before dinner. My cell phone rang. My best friend Jen. I answered it, naked and dripping. She was practically screaming into the phone.

"Joey, it's Jen. You need to come to the hospital. Now. Hurry."

"Why? What's wrong."

"It's Kirk. Oh God baby he's been in an accident".

I made it in time to say goodbye to my baby boy. My life. My love.

This Summer's tale, and all the tales of all the summers are so much more. I'm sure the full story of our life together, and not so together, will eventually be told. But for now, he is letting me rest.

Autumn has arrived.

This was one of the best summers of my life. And the most life-changing in a long time. Perhaps ever.

Now that it's done, it's time to tell its story. Truth be told, no other words will come out. Not until it is finished. I know it's him. I know he is still taking charge. He won't let me go on until it is complete, out of my head and onto a page. So to finish, I must begin...

I spent a very large portion of my summer, mostly weekends, on a barrier island in New Jersey far away from the everyday grind. There is not a more beautiful place on earth to me, and nothing more soul cleansing than just standing there at the edge of the water staring off into the waves. Good times were had. It was almost true perfection. Until the phone call that ended my life.

“Joey, it's Jen. You need to come to the hospital. Now. Hurry.”

Oddly enough, it was almost the same time of year when we met. My first day of college, feeling all mature and full of my new-found independence. I just knew this day was the beginning of something truly incredible, rushing into it with fresh-faced exuberance and joy. And terror. To think, I wasn't even jaded then. Oh, I was however different. In the back of my mind there was always the knowledge that I was a minority. In fact, I had never met an actual gay person. That I knew of that is.

My parents had left me in the dorm trying to figure out exactly what, where, etc. It was late in the day, still no sign of a roommate yet, and I was hungry. I had no idea where the cafeteria was, so out of the door I braved. And ran right into him. Love at first crash.

He was incredibly handsome. At least to me. Okay everyone always thought so, not just me. He was the boy next door type that you just knew excelled at everything he attempted.

“Hey, how ya doin. Name's Kirk.”

God, even his name was more masculine than mine.

“Joseph. Umm Joe.”

“Well Joseph umm Joe, any idea where the cafeteria is?”

“No, uh, I was just going to try to find it myself.”

“Well, you better come with me. Two's better than one.”

I didn't say it. But in my head, came a resounding “I'd follow you anywhere”. And that's how it began. Neither of us could have even imagined in that moment how that summer's end would be the beginning of a bond so tight. Nor could we have imagined what fate would bring us to, this many years later.

...to be continued

It's time to talk...