Saturday, October 30, 2004

Well it's sure been a busy week - and next week is going to be just as busy. Once this show gets on the boards I'll be a much happier JD. Still not sure what, if anything, I am going to wear to the party tonight but I may be able to scare up something. Y'all have yourselves a very Happy Halloween. And here is your treat, the art of Steve Walker, from the boy who still dreams of endless summer.....

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

I need a calendar...

It's one of those weeks. I barely have time to check my to-do list. I promise discussion will ensue regarding my weekend. But trust, it was not planned, nor do I expect it to have a replay.

I just found out that the party I am attending Saturday night is a costume party. Being busy, and dense according to friends, I didn't actually realize that it's Halloween weekend! (I have a show opening next week, ok)

I can't wait till the election is over.

Once the show opens I will have time to read again. Anyone wanna play Oprah and give me suggestions on what book to read next?

Monday, October 25, 2004

I'm just too busy...

I'm just too busy to write. No really. I have no time to tell you:

1. I had to do tech for a drag show this weekend.

2. Saturday morning there was a boy in my bed.

3. It wasn't a friend.

4. I didn't find out until later that day that he had been one of the performers.

5. My friends think I am incredibly dense.

6. I think I underestimated drag queens.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Sometimes I am embarassed by the fact that I grew up in this area, but indeed, I do have relatives in this extremely small town below. I have to say - isn't a good thing he didn't have one of those newly legal assault weapons around?

CONFLUENCE, Pa. - A man missed a mouse he was trying to shoot with a small-caliber handgun and wounded his girlfriend instead, state police said.

Donald Rugg, 43, of Confluence, was trying to kill the rodent with a .22-caliber handgun when his girlfriend, Cathy Jo Harris, 38, apparently went into the line of fire and was hit in the arm early Tuesday morning, state police said.

She was taken to Somerset Hospital where she was listed in fair condition Tuesday, said hospital spokesman Greg Chiappelli.

Neither Rugg nor Harris could immediately be reached for comment.

State police said they won't charge Rugg, but advised against people shooting firearms inside.


Ummm. Do ya think? Gee, I would never have thought of that advice. Thanks for letting us know, dear PA State Police!!!!


This is a very well done (in my opinion) commercial that is is airing on MTV. It would be interesting to see it air in other venues as well. It has one of my favorite songs as its background. You'll recognize it from Donnie Darko.

Permission

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

No.

What a great word. I've been told if I work on it, I can actually say it. I have also been told, that if I say it, miraculous things will occur. Like having time to myself to do things that normal people have time to get done. Also, saying no up front means not empowering people with the chance to complain when that which I accomplish does not meet up with their expectations.

So where is this coming from? Well, basically there are things that I do in my life that involve another word, volunteer. However, I am spending much of my time providing services that normally would require the recepients to spend a great deal of money. When I am behind for whatever reason, or I give them exactly what they asked for (which is not what they actually wanted), then they feel the need to complain. And the complaints are in the method that I would only expect from a boss. You know, the word boss, the person who is actually in charge of whether I receive the compensation that pays my mortgage.

So today I am adopting this new word, No. I figure with the commitments that I currently have responsibility for, then starting to use this word today will mean that I will again have time to water my plants, clean my house, figure out where the dog is under all of that laundry, possibly get laid - I mean date, 'round about June 2005.

Sigh. Maybe I just need a houseboy.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

First incarnation is finished. Enjoy.

About Me

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Streams of semi-conciousness...

Yes it's been a long rough weekend and I am exhausted. I need to do some serious studying for school. I still have laundry to do unless I want to "go commando" to work tomorrow. It's not a feeling I enjoy - at least not at work. And besides, it's cold out. The boys need to be warm!

I wish I had time for shopping this weekend. I don't need a new mattress, but I would like to have someone other than friends sleeping on mine. I did buy new flannel sheets last week just in case it's me and the dog all winter. Do they make dog nose covers?

Is it possible to still have a hangover from Friday night. My brain is still fuzzy. I'm not sure I can concentrate on homework. Football is on, but I just realized I haven't been paying attention to it since the first quarter. A little over two minutes left. Wow, I can make out the outline of the ref's dick in his white pants. I've never dated a football player. Slept with one once. For several weeks actually. Forgot about him. Hmmm. Do I have his number? Oh wait, schoolwork.

1 yard to go, 43 seconds, they send in The Bus. TD! Steelers leading 30 seconds to go. Cool! I guess homework can wait another 30 seconds.

Man that new QB is hot! Love to be his center... I am never going to get my work done.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Just some random Saturday morning thoughts...

Unscheduled drinking happened last night. But all were had by a good time. Busy day today too, and I am not happy with myself.

I'm working on an "about me" page, because several people asked for one, and Thomas seems to feel that "A blog without a bio is like a stripper with a small dick, still interesting, but not nearly as satisfying". SO that is enough of a ringing endorsement for me. And an interesting visual I must say.

I'm hungry and I need a shower. Now if that boy would just get out of my bed I could get my day started.

Oh I know what you are thinking, "Hey good for you Joseph, you got some!". But alas no, just a friend staying over. Although in my alcohol-induced haze last night it crossed my mind. Several times. Ok - a lot, but the morning brings clarity and the happy feeling that I did not succumb. Besides, he has drool running out of his mouth and all over my pillow. I was kissing that mouth last night. Maybe we should have just... naw.

I hate watching TV these days. Everytime a political commercial comes on I hit the mute button. Yes I am voting, and I freely share my politcal thoughts as to why I am voting how I am voting. I don't want to belabor this page with all of that, but I will just say that my quality of life has not improved in the last four years, far from it in fact, and most everyone I know has employment issues. Do the math.

Cold out. I hate non-summer. Except for the snuggling. Maybe I should get in bed with... naw.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

I hate giving out advice. I always wonder why people ask me, of all people. I mean, how stable is my life? Have I ever made the right decisions? Oh yeah. The night I skipped a family function because Mike, who I had lusted after for almost 2 years, when I asked the simple question - "What are you doing tonight?" - replied "Wanna get naked tonight?". I paid for that with my Mom for years but oh my it was so worth it. Mmmmmmmmm...

Oh wait, where was I? The reason I mentioned that I hate to give advice, is because I am going to give some out freely. The person who I am giving it to, will understand. The rest of you I am sure will not mind.

Loving someone else is such an awesome and rare gift and blessing. I have loved often in my life. Sometimes briefly. Sometimes too long. Sometimes too wrong. Sometimes so hard that it seems that if I died, my life would be completed by just that simple fact. I've loved unrequitedly as well. That to me is the most confusing of all, the feeling that if they would just take time to think it through they would realize that this is the love for them. A love to complete us both. I must admit, this has happened twice in my life. And one of the two of them I still think about every single day although he is no longer in my life.

My advice is just this. Be proud and grateful for the opportunity to feel. Yes it hurts and I so truly understand sweet boy. But if he does not see what an awesome chance he is missing, then there is nothing on earth that you can do to change that. Love him for who he is and allow yourself to grieve briefly for that which will not be. But most of all, realize that you can love, and will love, and continue to be an awesome human being. And some boy is going to see that shining light and want nothing more than to live within it's glow.

Monday, October 11, 2004

Time to get rid of the dark and the old. A new look for a new attitude. I'm not content with the look yet, but it's closer to what I want. Bear with me....

Friday, October 08, 2004

Just another Friday night

Yep, sitting at home tonight. By choice. When the
weather changes like this, summer boys like me start
nesting. I just don't like the cold nights. It was a
rough day in a rough week, and I'd much rather be in,
catching up all the shows that I have taped.

Yep, it's definitely a transitional time. I remember
a time when staying in on a Friday night in October
meant pizza, quilts, movies, just feeling safe in each
other's arms. Nope, it wasn't Kirk, but you could
insert any of the other names. It's been a repeatable
pattern.

But tonight, there's a girl cuddled up next to me.
And she loves me unconditionally. Now if she would
just stop shoving that cold nose in my back in the
middle if the night.

Friday, October 01, 2004

Somehow you always know when you are at a turning point in your life. Everything in your microcosm is screaming at you to make the change(s) that are needed for you to go the direction you need to go. Some people relish these periods. I sure do not. But I have finally resolved myself that I must do this or languish. (Good word. Remind me to use that in the book.)

Little things can really make you think that there is hope in the world, and that we are all meant to complete our pursuit of happiness. Case in point: a blog that I have been reading for a long time that is written by two gay men, very much in love, and wanting to share that by parenting. Their pursuit was long, and fraught with many setbacks. But as it turns out, their journey was obviously meant to end with the lovely Audrey. The realization of their dream is manna for us all. I urge you to check them out. As Martha would say - It's a good thing...

Matt and Brian and Audrey