Friday, February 24, 2006

Public Service Announcement



Originally uploaded by joeydestino.
Due to circumstances beyond our control, regular posting has been interrupted. Service will be restored this weekend. In the meantime, please enjoy the view from Joey's bed.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Love hurts


Thank you all for the birthday wishes. As I’ve said, I’m so wrapped up in work right now, I’m not even sure what day it is. That’s about to change, as soon as this project wraps up. Hopefully by then it will be spring. And I won’t be in pain.

I guess I should go back a few days, and tell you about my birthday. Where did we leave off? Ah yes, the morning...

I went downstairs to get my morning coffee. There on the counter is a massive arrangement of flowers. Reds, blues, yellows, whites. Colors that together brought back an instant memory of a warm day and a sea breeze. These were summer flowers. Summer flowers. Just like the arrangement I had bought and brought back to the shore house the first time we were there together.

In front of the vase, was a small plain card. Written on it in beautiful script was one simple phrase. Prepare for an evening of seduction. Oh he’s good!

Once at work, I sped through a day filled with the normal mundane meetings and intense coding sessions with my door closed. I finally left the office a little after 6, later than I had planned, but earlier than most days.

At home, everything was perfect. Scented candles, romantic music, and a meal meant to be eaten with our fingers. When asked if I liked my birthday, I responded that it was all very lovely and thoughtful, but I was feeling very old. He had been waiting for me to say it. I could tell he had been planning for that moment all day.

“I’m going to prove to you, that you are not old.”

He blew out the candles, turned off the music, and went upstairs. His clothes were coming off one by one on the way. I sat there for a few minutes not wanting to give in. I was tired. I felt old. I had work to do. I wasn’t sure I was up for this. I ran upstairs as fast as I could.

What follows is a blur. I remember candles. I remember oils. I remember neckties. I remember sensations not felt before. I remember things seen only on the Discovery channel.

And I remember falling off the bed. Onto my shoulder. Yes that shoulder. And I remember screaming. I am truly convinced this boy is trying to kill me.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

My wish? Eternal Summer


The sun was extremely hot on the beach, but we didn't seem to mind. With my eyes closed I could hear all of the sounds around me; the gulls, the people laughing and enjoying themselves, and the pounding surf. I looked at him and was filled with an explosive amount of love and desire. He was so beautiful. I kissed him. Right there. His lips tasted like the salt of the ocean. And he returned my kiss with the force of the sea. I heard this horrible clanging noise, and I couldn't tell if it was the ice cream vendor, or the lifeguard on his chair annoyed at what we were doing. The noise increased in intensity as did the intensity of our kiss. I wanted to savor that moment and the taste of him and the ocean forever, but it was being interrupted by that piercing clanging noise which kept getting louder and louder. Our lips suddenly broke from each other and Jake said, "You have the most annoying alarm clock in the world." And I woke up.

Thoughts streaming. His arm around me. Remembering the 20 plus inches of snow outside, and the heat of the sun and us in my dream. Day? What day? Ugh. Tuesday. Have to go to work. I slide out from under his arm, and out of the bed, feet hit the floor. As I stand and stretch it hits me like a freight train - it's Valentine's Day. It's my frakking birthday. And there's a zero in the number. And I am suddenly very old. I want to go back to the beach. To the sun. To Jake. To our lips. To youth.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Scattered


Deadlines, everywhere. Demands on my time, everywhere. Adjusting to living full time with the BF, confusing and time-consuming.

Of course you would think having him live with me now would be easy and interesting as our selves meld together. But I have been so swamped, and my brain has been so filled with all of the other demands on me right now, I really haven't had much time to think about it.

Last night I was working late. Okay really late. And I didn't crawl into bed until 1:30am. I am normally asleep by 10pm at the very latest. And I got up earlier as well, because I had to get stuff done prior to a presentation this morning. Total sleep = 3 hours, 45 minutes.

I woke up and went through my morning ritual. Showered, dressed, and ran out the door. On the drive in I kept thinking there was something just odd. I couldn't really place it, and I thought it was just the lack of sleep getting the best of me.

Got to work and got busy. But I kept feeling uncomfortable and I wasn't sure why. After a pot of coffee, I had to go drain off the excess. I go in the bathroom, open my pants, and suddenly realized why I was out-of-sorts and uncomfortable. I am freeballin'. I have gone commando. The ballroom doors are wide open. I am not wearing any underwear.

In my haste and sleep deprivation, I have skipped an important task of the morning routine. In my presentation all I can think about is the fact that I have no underwear on. Can they tell? Does it show?

And now here I sit. And every time I move, the boys are feeling squished. They miss their support!

And I have at least 6 hours to go before I get home.

Monday, February 06, 2006

We're going to....


Well it seems my boyfriend is going to be taking me to Disney World. I'm really excited. Oddly enough I have never been to Disney World, and after last night, it seems we are going.

He's the greatest isn't he? That's his picture there on the right, taken last summer. It's really hard having a celebrity as a boyfriend, but hey, what can you do? I was totally shocked when right after the game he announced our vacation plans to the whole world.

I am so excited for him and his friends. Last night was a huge win, and I am very proud of him. While I am waiting for him to get home from Detroit I am going to start packing for a warmer climate!

And when he gets home I am really going to pamper him. I'll run a hot bath, and then massage his tired muscles and then we'll -

"What's that babe?... Yes I know Ben is not my boyfriend. But can we still go to Disney World?"

Cool. He said yes. Now if I can just figure out when Ben is going to be there...

Friday, February 03, 2006

Spreadin' the love again


I really really hate it when people post and say that they are too busy to post. So I'm not going to do that. Except to say that the past two weeks have been nuts. And not the good kind.

So instead of wasting time on me today, I'm sending you elsewhere to someone whose blog if you are not already reading you really should be!

I want you to go spread some love to James. He's a very good writer. His viewpoints are always well thought out and well spoken. And like many of us, he sees and lives life in broad terms. The best thing is, he can communicate them that way as well. That is something I admire greatly.

So go on, get out of here. Go visit James at his Gay Empire. Come back this weekend or Monday and we can get back to the surreality that is my life.

I said go already! Sheeesh.

James' Gay Empire

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Who?


I was deeply saddened by the death yesterday of Coretta Scott King. I think what affected me most was this feeling that it was the passing of an era. First Rosa Parks, and now Mrs. King. Where are the heros for our generation? Where are the ones who will stand up and say, "I am not going to take it anymore" and effect change?

I met Mrs. King at a function a number of years ago. She took my hand, placed her other hand over top of mine, and said in that pleasant dulcet quiet tone of hers, "How are you?". It wasn't "Pleased to meet you", or a simple, "Hello". She asked me how I was. Me. Someone she did not even know. I knew that I was meeting a woman important to history and the shaping of our country but to have her greet me, a complete stranger, in that way changed my entire perception of her. It was quite powerful.

I mentioned her death to a number of people yesterday and what saddened me even more was the response of most everyone. "Who?". How could someone get to their age and not know who Mrs. King was? If we do not remember or recognize the human rights heros that have gone before, how can we expect a hero for us? Someone that will lead us into the validation of our existance so we will no longer have to be shunned, ridiculed, feared, hated, killed.

I'm also passing along today an email sent to me by Judy Shepard and the Matthew Shepard Foundation. It is a shining example of the woman that Mrs. King was.

Dear Friend,

The Matthew Shepard Foundation, my family and I join the millions in expressing
their grief and sadness at the passing of Mrs. Coretta Scott King. Mrs. King was
an extraordinary human being, filled with the hope of equality for all with
absolutely no distinction. She spread her message of hope with grace and
compassion from which I draw constant inspiration.

The day after my son Matthew’s death, Mrs. King sent a letter to my family that
I would like to share with you for the first time today. This letter represents
in the truest sense the human being she was and the spirit of her work that we
should all strive to emulate.

Sincerely,
Judy Shepard


October 13, 1998

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Shepard,

I was stunned and deeply saddened to learn of the killing of your beloved son,
Matthew Shepard. On behalf of Dexter Scott King, The King Center and the King
Center Family, I send our heartfelt condolences, our love and prayers for your
family in your hour of bereavement.

Clearly, your Matthew was a fine young man, a kind and open-hearted person who
believed in human rights and the dignity of all people. The outpouring of
sympathy from his many friends, as well as his family, is a testament that he
was a caring and much-loved human being, and his loss diminishes us all.

The epidemic brutality that took your son’s life and has caused so much pain to
your family must be confronted and stopped. Americans of conscience must work a
lot harder to eliminate this sick culture of violence that threatens even our
best and brightest.

Matthew Shepard will be sorely missed. But we will be praying your family soon
be unburdened by the knowledge that his beautiful spirit will live on in the
hearts of all of those he touched.

Sincerely,
Coretta Scott King