The Properties of Matter...
See that. Up there. No, right above my head. That little black cloud. Yep. It appeared during work yesterday. I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when I hit my knee into the corner of my desk. It hurt. My knees are always sore. No, perve, not from that. It just happens. My knees constantly prove that two forms of matter cannot occupy the same space at the same time.
But when I hit my knee, my pen dropped. So I bent over (still seated) to pick it up. My head had obviously been talking with my knee. It decided to test that matter theorem too. With my monitor. Ouch. Two Aleve later, the rest of the workday was uneventful. I left for home in good spirits. I got to the parking lot and just stood there for a minute admiring how shiny and pretty my car looked in the sunlight. It's a guy thing. It transcends orientation. No, really. Anyway, I hopped into my pride and joy, and got on the expressway to once again put my life on the line. Traffic was relatively light. I thought, "Wow. Nice day".
Then the truck appeared. The one who picked up the signal from both my knee and head that it was Matter-Theorem-Test Day. Luckily I saw him in time, and was able to slow down (slam on my brake) so that he could get in my lane. That's when I heard it. Clink.
There. Right in front of my eyes. Right in the front of my "I took 20 minutes to Rain-Ex this windshield on Saturday" eyes. A chunk of my car was no longer attached. The theorem was proven. A stone had flown up from one of the truck's tires and hit my windshield. Now granted, it's a small chunk of windshield - about a half inch in diameter. But it's right in front of my eyes. And it's my CAR!!! My baby has been violated. I feel violated.
Last night was uneventful. When I woke up this morning, I had thought everything would be fine. New day after all, no theorems need to be tested. I got in the car to go to work. But I had to look through the windshield at that chunk (grrrr-violated I tell ya!). Coffee in holder, phone on seat, get sunglasses from the visor. But they weren't there. I always put them there. Odd. So I headed out into the sun glare with a naked face.
Halfway to work, the traffic was heavy. It moderated from 25 to stopped. Then all of a sudden it sped up again, traveling nicely at almost 40. For about 30 seconds. And then brake lights ahead. Phone hits floor. Coffee cup now decides to test the theorem with the windshield and dash. Now there is coffee all over the dash and windshield. I just cleaned the car over the weekend so there is nothing to wipe up the coffee. I reached into my jacket, and found a paper towel. I wiped up the coffee while trying not to get killed. I realized that the reason I had the paper towel was because I was running late and I had just wrapped my vitamins "to-go" on my way out of the house. And now they are wet.
Life can only get better.
But right now, it just doesn’t matter.