Wednesday, May 18, 2005

City lust

Yes I have it. Great lust for all of you who live in the big city. You leave your homes, get on the train, and go to work.

You have no idea how much fun it is to live in the suburbs where we leave our homes, get in our cars, and get on the expressway to risk life and limb every day. Why is it so dangerous you ask?

I like to call them, the living stupid. The multi-taskers. I apologize to those of you who are one of these people, and I implore you. Stop it. Now.

Just this past week, I have been behind or next to people who have been driving and:

Eating Breakfast.
Talking with their phone on one hand while gesticulating with the other. Neither hand anywhere near the steering wheel.
Reading the newspaper.
Reading a book.
Digging for - well you can figure that out.
Putting on makeup.
And. This one still stuns me. Plucking her eyebrows.

Dear goddess smite these people before they kill someone. But please do it before they get behind the wheel of their car.