I have transformed procrastination into a new art form. I should have spent time this weekend working on my NaNoWriMo (which I am sure is Japanese for I don't want to write no more) novel. But no. I'm the one with the boyfriend remember. The boyfriend, who only needs to flash those baby blues at me and he gets his way. He is truly evil. Spawn of Satan evil.
First it was going out on Friday night. He really wanted to hang out with friends. But not alone. Oh no, I had to be there too. "But Honey," he said, "I look better when I am standing next to you." Uh huh. I can translate that. That actually means, "Because you are older, I look really hot when I stand near you."
Saturday it was a trip out to see the leaves. I thought for sure it was going to be a road trip - out and back fairly quickly. Uh huh. Mr. Younger-and-in-such-better-shape decided it would be nice to walk through Valley Forge. All of Valley Forge. That's 2500 acres. I believe at least 2499 of that is uphill. By the time I got back there was going to be no writing. Nope, I was too tired to sit up. Satan Jr. drew me a bath and then proceeded to... Oh c'mon, you can figure that part out.
And then yesterday. Oh yes. The day when I thought I would engineer the procrastination all on my own. I wanted to spend the day watching football from the safety of some horizontal surface. Nope. The Prince of Darkness got a call from friends who wanted to PLAY football. And of course he said yes. I'm thinking, cool, he can go and I can just lie here. That’s when he said, “Of course Joey will come.”
Today I am sitting here at work, heating pad on my back, bandage on my arm, and bruises on my face, chest, sides, and thighs. I am not into pain. At all. Please someone, kill me. At least send pain killers!
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