Thursday, April 28, 2005

I thought you said landscaping

There are many, many interesting and important things going on in the world right now. You would think I would have an opinion on most anything that I could share with you here. And I do.

But not today.

So. We are in bed the other night, and TCB (hereafter known as BF) says something incredible and life-changing to me. The conversation went something like this:

BF: So have you ever thought about chopping down the forest?
jd: Is this an Arbor Day question? (see I can make a post timely and relevant)
BF: Nooooo.
jd: Then what are you talking about?
BF: Have you ever trimmed the bush?
jd: No. The guys do that.
BF: Umm. What guys?
jd: The ones that come to cut the grass.
BF: Oy. That's not what I meant. Are you just playing naive?
jd: Playing? Nope. My middle name is naive.
BF: Okay fine. Have you ever manscaped?

Oh. My. God. I'm just getting over being underwear-challenged and now it seems I am personal-grooming challenged as well.

BF: Are you listening to me?
jd: I'm uh. I mean. Well yeah, I've sort of trimmed. Kinda.
BF: You would look so much better if you did.

Okay, now what do I do - end the relationship because I am insulted or...
So I opt for "or":

jd: So you are saying I look bad? Mama Destino would be SO proud.
BF: No, not at all. It's like your other hair. A fresh cut always makes you look and feel better.
I grant absolution. Dragged himself out of that one!

jd: Ohhhkay.
BF: I could do it for you. I could even shave it if you want.

Okay. My reaction to that was totally unexpected. Little Joey immediately leaptto attention. I whisper in reply:

jd: Ummmm. (pause). Okay.

The next hour or so was amazing. I had never ever let someone "trim the bush". You can not imagine the feeling when someone has a razor in one hand, your testicles in another, and a determined look on their face. At this point I did draw the line. I allowed a trimming. But no razor, oh no.

And you know what? He looked so happy afterwards. My heart truly melted. Again.

Now if I can just get him to mow the lawn....