Monday, June 27, 2005

So what's your deal? (The party.)

HSNB had asked me to come over for the evening. He had said he was inviting some of his friends over for an impromptu get-together. I have met many of his friends in the past when we've gone out together. Usually though, it's been in a very loud club and conversation as a group was at a minimum. I had no idea whether they knew if I was gay or not. And I had never really thought to ask HSNB.

Once they had all shown up, I did actually know most of them and by name (Phone numbers - can't remember, but names I'm good at). It was quite a mixed group. Good conversation, good wine, good beer, good grief I'm starting to have a great time and I was getting a buzz.

One of the crowd was a gorgeous gorgeous hunk of beef, a little loud, a little overbearing, and a little - how should we say - full of himself, monopolizing conversations. I hadn't really talked to him, but then again most people didn't talk to him. They couldn't. He never gave them the chance.

I was talking to a rather attractive (Ok I just realized all of his friends are attractive) blond of the hetero female species. We were talking Oscars of all things. I felt a hand on my shoulder spin me around. It was that guy. HSNB was with him, and he introduced him.

"Joey, this is one of your fellow paesans, Anthony."

Oh dear goddess, he's a GUIDO! I should have known.

He shook my hand (practically wrenching it from the socket), and gave me a "Yo, wazzup". Oh great, a Guido who thinks he's all street.

I sort of answer him, kind of flustered by his overbearing presence. That's when he looked at me and said, "So, what's your deal?".

I swear in the 3 seconds it took me to respond, Rome could have been built. I felt a sudden panic. I swore I was drenched in sweat with cold air blasting at me. My brain didn't seem like it would engage. Was he going to out me? Was this big old Guido going to beat me to a pulp just for existing? Quick, some response, just squeak something out.

"What do you mean, Anthony?"

Oh fantastic. Now that was a response that would get me out of any situation. I had a chance to steer this away from any dangerous waters but my brain goes all W on me.

"How do you know HSNB?"

Oh. Ohhhhhhhhh. The waters were calm after all. I am truly an idiot.

Afterwards, when I asked HSNB if any of his friends knew I was gay, he laughed it off and said the coolest thing.

"Why would I tell anyone that. That's your business. Besides, no one would care. Except maybe Trisha (the blonde), and of course Anthony. They were both hot after your ass. I actually invited Anthony thinking you two might hit it off."

Hi. Have you met me? My name is Joey NAIVE-AS-HELL Destino.