Thursday, June 30, 2005

I get the tingly sensation of a cool breeze

Well I did it again. You know who (I said I would stop talking about him but I can't tell this without it) stopped me as I was about to get into the shower.

He had that look in his eye, and I wasn't sure what he was up to. Ah, something behind his back. The Trimmer! Oh great, another session of lawn care 101. So here's the deal. I can't stand taking the time to do regular shaving let alone trying to knock down a whole forest, so if he wants to do it for me, let him.

I warned him to keep it clinical and professional because I was already running late for work thanks to the morning wakeup he gave me. Let me just say, that if it's a day that ends in Y, he's more than ready. Me, after about 4 times I gotta have a break...for at least a day.

I told him I did have some problems with the aftermath of the trimming, with some itchiness. Before you think what you are thinking, it's not shaving, just trimming. But I still get itch from - oh never mind, you get the idea. So he mentions to me that if I use some conditioner "down there" it will help ease that situation. Now that made total sense to me.

So after the logging crew has completed leveling the forest, I jump in the shower. I wash up, and wash my hair, then I grab the conditioner and spread it generously over the nether regions. Ten seconds later it hit me. The expensive conditioner that my stylist conned me into buying has both peppermint and tea tree oil as ingredients.

Twenty seconds later I was screaming.

He is never touching me again. Okay, he can touch me, but not with anything that cuts.