Wednesday, June 01, 2005

To say it was a fabulous weekend would be an understatement. I really do not have the words to describe what it is like to be back at the shore. I left at 4:30 yesterday morning to make the 2.5 hours commute back to work, so as to avoid the hellish rush. I was at work early and even had a fantastic work day. I was "on". Code was flying out of my fingertips all day.

I had a house full of people over the weekend. Having all of my friends around me was sheer joy. Good food, good conversation, the official unveiling of the boyfriend (okay most know him already but this was different. No words to describe that either- at least not yet).

The best part of the weekend - morning beach walks alone. The closest thing to meditation I get. I feel extremely centered again.

There were some awkward moments, some sad moments, and one where I was in our favorite bakery down the street and ordered the danish that Kirk loves. Loved. And it hit me. A huge wave of loss and sadness. So danish and I went to the beach. I sat staring out at the water, tears streaming. By the time I finished the danish, his danish, I was laughing. We had done this together so many times in the past, and I just got the sense that he was there. And I knew he always would be in my heart. I knew coming back to this place, this house, would be tough. Little did I know it was what I needed most. I needed to let go. Finally.