Friday, October 14, 2005

Never squeeze it like that.

Time: One evening this past summer
Scene: At the shore

JD: Awww shit! That shot right in my eye!!!! Shit!!!!!!

BF: Oh Honey, I am so sorry!

JD: Oh man that fraking burns!!!!

BF: Do you want me to get you something to wipe it off with?

JD: No, I want you to lick it off. Of course – get something! Owww. Crap!!!

BF: I’m really really really sorry. I didn’t mean for it to hit your eye.

JD: I told you if you squeezed it like that, that would happen.

BF: I tried to cover it with my hand, but it just sort of shot out before I was ready.

JD: Damn, I’m probably going to be blind now! Do you have any idea what it feels like to have this in your eye?

BF: No, Honey, it’s never ever happened to me before. I am so sorry.

JD: Can you see me trying to explain why I can’t see out of my eye to my boss? Or my family? Or my friends?

BF: Maybe if we rinse your eye out with water?

JD: I’m going to be disfigured for life, because you had to squeeze it like that!!!

BF: Babe, I am really truly sorry. Really. Next time I’ll do what you said, slow down, take my time, and make sure it’s covered.

JD: Oh there is not going to be a next time!

BF: What?

JD: No. Absolutely not. Next time I’ll do it by myself.

BF: But...

JD: No, you are forbidden to ever touch another lemon. If I want lemon on my fish, I will do it myself!

BF: Did I mention I love you?

JD: Sigh.