So what's in my drawers?

I never really gave my underwear much thought until the night I took off my pants in front of him.

I wear boxer-briefs. I like them. They are supportive where they need to be. The boys like that feeling. I usually buy a certain brand (I'm not saying which because they aren't paying me for the plug). The fit is good. The price is good. The colors are plain. In fact, I buy white and black only.

A few weeks ago, HSNB stayed over during a snow storm. There was no where to go that evening and he had called to find out what I was doing. I had movies and food. He had beer. So he walked over to my place. We laughed and joked all evening. Even after the electricity went out. Well by the time the evening was ending, there was quite a bit of snow. He asked if I minded if he stayed over. Of course I didn't have a problem with it. I would never send a man out into the cold. Besides, I have a fireplace, and he doesn't.

We decided to sleep in the living room because of the fireplace. When I came back downstairs with the blankets and pillows, he was taking off his pants. You have no idea how many times that scene had played in my mind before that! We already know the boy is hot. And I have seen him shirtless, in nothing but shorts, during the summer. But man, this was different.

Of course I took off my clothes as well. And then it happened. He took one look at me in my underwear. His expression changed, his face lighting up as if it were Christmas morning. His mouth opened and in my mind I heard him tell me he wanted me. In reality, he laughed. Then he asked if my budget was that bad that I had to buy department store brand underwear.

Oddly enough I didn't through him out into the snow. In fact, we really became much closer that night. Closer than I expected. He has become something very special to me.

But before I find myself taking off my pants in front of anyone else, I'm going shopping.

A boy's fancy

I've been thinking a lot about love lately.

Are you finally going to talk about your love life?

Umm. Sort of. I haven't mentioned the date, or anything else going on with that area of my life.

We've been chomping at the bit for almost two weeks to hear the details of THE date!

Yeah, yeah, I know. It was a very good date, as dates go. Dinner, movie, lots of talking.

And...

Sorry, none of that. I never do that on a first date. Or second. Or third. In fact, I'm one of those who believes in truly getting to know the person before engaging in, intimacy.

Oh, what a load of crap. You've told us about the various nights that you, how did you put it - "Got some"!

Ah, there is the difference. Sex is a good thing. But the very rare instance where I meet someone, usually in an inebriated state, and engage in "getting some" (did I actually say that?) is different than getting to know someone and entering into a relationship.

Whatever. So what's the deal with the guy?

Well neither one of us are in our twenties any more, and we are both looking for something - well - permanent. So we are spending our time getting to know each other.

And?

God you people are inquistive! Alright. I find him fascinating, and charming. And handsome. Oh so witty. Well read. And yes, we have spent some time together over the past week or so. Flowers arrived at my office on VD/BD. Late night phone calls are happening asking about my day, etc...

So does this mean...?

No. Yes. Ummm. Maybe. We'll see. Oh leave me alone.

They SO did it.

I agree!

Out! All of you!

The boys are back!

Ah, the boys of summer!

My heart is starting to feel glad again. Signs of spring are peaking out all over. The most important portent - today was the first day of Spring Training (that's Baseball for all of you non-Americans).

I have always loved baseball. Some of my fondest memories are of spending time with my Dad tossing a ball or going to a game. I was never good at baseball either (bad hand-eye coordination), but I spent a lot of time cheering on friends at American Legion games.

Yeah, I know. A gay man who likes sports. I do. I'm not fanatic about sports, but I do love a good game. Basketball -not so much. But baseball makes me think about the memories, and summer. Life is good.

Oh, the guy over there - that's Pat Burrell of the Phillies - my future husband.

My parents had sex...

It's true. I am the result. Today is the day I take stock of gray hair, waist size, and hairline. That's why I avoid this day every year. Yes, it's my birthday. Am I celebrating? No. Well. Actually, I did this weekend. But that's a story for tomorrow. Let's just say it was a good weekend.

Do you realize the horrible paradox of having a birthday on Valentine's Day? When you are single?

Sigh.

Wanna be my valentine?

Shopping for meat

He called...... No, not him, he calls all the time. HIM! You know, the guy from the supermarket!

I have been giddy as a schoolgirl ever since. After the infamous store incident, we did actually talk on the phone a few times, and we met for coffee. But, as happens in my life, he was supposed to call, but didn't. And Mama Destino always said, "If he doesn't call, then he's no good!". Okay she said that to my sister, but I got the idea.

What's that you say? Was his excuse plausible? Oh who cares, the man is Grade A Beef on a stick! And intelligent, and funny, and...

Sigh.

So I said sure, I would go out with him this weekend. Of course I told him he was paying for dinner! He owes me for not calling. My sister taught me that.

You want me to do what?

I know what he is doing. It took me a while to figure it out. He is trying to recruit me. I'm convinced! I should have known when I saw him shirtless on his stoop in the summer that he had a plan.

HSNB and I have spent a lot of time together since Thanksgiving, and I thought we were becoming friends. Sure, he's straight, but I don't let that bother me. I'm not a heterophobe. Whoever those people want to sleep with is their business.

I let him take me to straight bars and clubs, and while that is really not my thing, I had fun. I had gotten to meet some of his straight friends, and most are actually interesting - although a couple of them really do perpetuate that stereotype. You know, extremely masculine, sports oriented, and the talk is all butch.

Well this weekend was the last straw. I had a few beers, so I wasn't really in charge of my faculties, and he seduced me. Yes it's true. I let him have his way. He kept pleading with me, and looking at me with those eyes. I gave in. I played around with him. Outside. In the common ground. Where everyone can see. I woke up the next morning hoping it was all a bad dream, and I wouldn't talk about it.

Let me tell you, I suck at football. And I am sore.

This looks somehow familiar

Finally, it's Super Bowl Sunday.

That means I won't have to endure that stupid Eagle's fight song much longer. I mean, come on, at least come up with a new song that people who can't sing (like everyone on the news) can't butcher.

Even though I live in Philly, I have a hunch the Pats may win. But you never know. It's a good match-up.

On the personal front - it was a tough week last week. Lots of work, and committments to fulfill. The weather has gotten a touch warmer. The snow is slowly disappearing and the dead grass is making an appearance here and there. Spring may be just around the corner. So what did I do last night? Ummm. Hmmm. The pic is a clue.

Hungry for Beef?

Random Thoughts...

I'm adding a new adjective to me. Disenfranchised. That's all I'm saying about "the speech".

Very tired. It's been a long day, in a long week. And it's only Wednesday.

I'm actually liking the new "Queer Eye". Maybe it's just that it's a different cast. As long as Thom Filicia is not on the show, I'm happy. I stopped shopping at Pier One because of him. In fact, I only truly care for Kyan. Everytime I see him, I just wish that I could switch places with him for one night. I mean, come on, who wouldn't want to be under Robert Gant?

Speaking of wanting to be under, HSNB was over this evening to return a shirt I forced him to wear after he slept over he borrowed.

Did I mention I have a birthday coming up? Sigh. I never celebrate it. After all, it truly just means acknowledging that my parents actually had sex, and I was the result.

The pic is Billy Currington, country singer. I'm thinking I need to listen to more country.

Nice Board

I guess it's part of my overall mood lately. Something my doctor (gay and gorgeous and partnered) calls SAD. Seasonal Affected Disorder. Don't ya just love labels.

But I've been feeling, well, nostalgic lately. I'm missing people in my past. Why is it that we come into each other's lives and then just drift away? I talk to almost no one from college anymore, let alone that horror that was high school.

I've been in several relationships with people, none of whom I talk to anymore. Oh wait, there are reasons for that distance. All well deserved.

There have been people in my life that have had great impact, deep friendships, with whom I shared so much. But they have all drifted away.

Being in theatre is a lot like that too. A cast comes together and shares so much, and no matter how much you say they you are going to keep in touch, get together, go for drinks, it rarely happens. We all go on with our lives. All to different destinations.

Sigh.

Maybe I just need the sun, the warmth.