Orphan Thanksgiving was wonderful! I am so glad my mother decided against the family thing. Everyone was well fed. There was lots of food left over. I even ended up with a couple of houseguests Thursday night. We played games until late in the evening, and some of us (not me) were just a little too full of wine to make it home! I was already home, but being the perfect host, I was not really drinking all that much.
Friday morning I got creative and threw together an early brunch for everyone (yes, I am that gay). I never do the Black Friday shopping thing and obviously none of my guests did either. I bid the last of them adieu in the early afternoon, and then BF and I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning up. And making a mess. And then cleaning each other up. ;)
Friday evening, we went out to see Rent. Yes, I cried during the movie. Three times to be exact. When the movie started and I heard the first few notes of the music tears started streaming. If there are those of you out there who have never seen Rent, I won't say when the other two times were, but take tissues if you go to see it.
I do have to say I don't ever remember sitting in a movie theatre before and forgetting myself enough to put my head on my boyfriend's shoulder. That was a great feeling.
The rest of the weekend was spent decorating, making messes, playing football (yes I love him that much), and spending time with friends. All in all, the most fun since I left the shore. The craziest thing of all, I am really looking forward to Christmas this year. But for now, I'm tired. Daddy needs some rest.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Moms are like that
I have always said my mother was psychic. The woman has always seemed to know exactly what I was thinking, or when I was not feeling well, or when life was not exactly going swimmingly for me.
BF and I have been negotiating our first Thanksgiving and Christmas together since Halloween. Christmas was easy, with time split between our families. His are here. Mine are 5 hours across the state. We had decided that we would spend Christmas Eve here together and with his family, and leave on Christmas Day for Western PA.
Thanksgiving however was an issue. I normally don't travel home. As discussed before, I have Orphan Thanksgiving, inviting people I know that are single and don't have family close. This would allow me to spend time with both him and his family.
Then my mother casually mentioned on the phone some weeks back, that she would love to have the whole family home for a large Thanksgiving meal, just like in the old days. My only thought at the time was, "Gee Mom, why not just kill me now and spare me the agony".
So obviously this revelation caused a few tense moments between BF and I, with no apparent resolution other than the fact that I was not going to be here. Neither of us were happy about it, but a boy has to do what a boy has to do when his Mother starts throwing around the Italian guilt. That's a force of nature that is hard to reckon with on any normal day.
Then this weekend, Mama Destino called me. I asked her about the menu for Thursday, and if she needed anything of course. That's when she got quiet for a moment. My mother quiet on the phone is usually a sign that prophetic words are about to be uttered.
She said she just wasn't up to having the family for the Holiday, especially when they would all be invading her house in December. It would mean multiple overnight guests including my sister and her Satanic spawn, and Mom just doesn't want to deal with them. So she says.
I know it was just that her Spidey sense knew it was causing issues for me. I am her favorite son after all. And I know she loves me the best. And she always says I'm cute. Gotta love that.
BF and I have been negotiating our first Thanksgiving and Christmas together since Halloween. Christmas was easy, with time split between our families. His are here. Mine are 5 hours across the state. We had decided that we would spend Christmas Eve here together and with his family, and leave on Christmas Day for Western PA.
Thanksgiving however was an issue. I normally don't travel home. As discussed before, I have Orphan Thanksgiving, inviting people I know that are single and don't have family close. This would allow me to spend time with both him and his family.
Then my mother casually mentioned on the phone some weeks back, that she would love to have the whole family home for a large Thanksgiving meal, just like in the old days. My only thought at the time was, "Gee Mom, why not just kill me now and spare me the agony".
So obviously this revelation caused a few tense moments between BF and I, with no apparent resolution other than the fact that I was not going to be here. Neither of us were happy about it, but a boy has to do what a boy has to do when his Mother starts throwing around the Italian guilt. That's a force of nature that is hard to reckon with on any normal day.
Then this weekend, Mama Destino called me. I asked her about the menu for Thursday, and if she needed anything of course. That's when she got quiet for a moment. My mother quiet on the phone is usually a sign that prophetic words are about to be uttered.
She said she just wasn't up to having the family for the Holiday, especially when they would all be invading her house in December. It would mean multiple overnight guests including my sister and her Satanic spawn, and Mom just doesn't want to deal with them. So she says.
I know it was just that her Spidey sense knew it was causing issues for me. I am her favorite son after all. And I know she loves me the best. And she always says I'm cute. Gotta love that.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Decision Time
I thought about it long and hard. No, not that. Although that is a nice thought..., but I digress.
I don't like me on NaNoWriMo. The BF does not like me on NaNoWriMo. My dog does not like me on NaNoWriMo.
So I have given up. I thought it was a fun idea, but in execution, it is just not my cup of green tea. The biggest problem is in the method of writing. Had I chosen something less, well, interesting I guess, then it would be different. I probably could have whipped out a technical manual of 50,000 words without really even thinking about it.
But I chose to write a murder mystery. It's a genre I love to read and always wanted to try my hand at writing. So I did. And guess what? I fell in love. No, not him. I was already in love with the BF. I mean my protagonist. I was giving him lots of quantity time, but hardly any quality time.
If I can't spend more quality time with him, then I have to break it off. He deserves so much more than a feeble attempt at pushing out mass quantities of words with a blatant disregard to his feelings. He needs to be nourished, and nurtured.
And that is just what I am going to do. I am going to get our relationship back to the way it was. Back in Chapter One.
Standing in the sea of boxes, he didn't realize he was not alone.
I don't like me on NaNoWriMo. The BF does not like me on NaNoWriMo. My dog does not like me on NaNoWriMo.
So I have given up. I thought it was a fun idea, but in execution, it is just not my cup of green tea. The biggest problem is in the method of writing. Had I chosen something less, well, interesting I guess, then it would be different. I probably could have whipped out a technical manual of 50,000 words without really even thinking about it.
But I chose to write a murder mystery. It's a genre I love to read and always wanted to try my hand at writing. So I did. And guess what? I fell in love. No, not him. I was already in love with the BF. I mean my protagonist. I was giving him lots of quantity time, but hardly any quality time.
If I can't spend more quality time with him, then I have to break it off. He deserves so much more than a feeble attempt at pushing out mass quantities of words with a blatant disregard to his feelings. He needs to be nourished, and nurtured.
And that is just what I am going to do. I am going to get our relationship back to the way it was. Back in Chapter One.
Standing in the sea of boxes, he didn't realize he was not alone.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Yup.
I'm still writing. I am going on record as stating, I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN.
I don't really like writing this way. I want to think about what I am writing, not just putting words on paper. Prose flows. Not. I am never going to be famous writing this way.
Other than that, alls well in Joeyville. Nothing happening. Well there's the whole holiday issue coming up, but we'll broach that later. So what's everyone else up to?
I don't really like writing this way. I want to think about what I am writing, not just putting words on paper. Prose flows. Not. I am never going to be famous writing this way.
Other than that, alls well in Joeyville. Nothing happening. Well there's the whole holiday issue coming up, but we'll broach that later. So what's everyone else up to?
Friday, November 11, 2005
I got my hands full
I've been writing like crazy. I'll be updating this weekend when I feel like taking some time away. Until then, Happy Friday!
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
It's a Mystery
I'm writing. That's a good thing. I'm still stiff (and not in a good way) from the weekend, so sitting for long periods is difficult to say the least. That's not a good thing.
I'm also behind on my favorite procrastination activity of reading everyone else's blogs (which is the normal reason I don't get posts on here).
So I am making this brief today. I really need to get back to the novel. I'm leaving you with a tease (or two if you count the picture). Here's the first line of the novel. Actually it's the first line of chapter one (there's a prologue as well).
Standing in the sea of boxes, he did not realize that he was not alone in the house.
I'm also behind on my favorite procrastination activity of reading everyone else's blogs (which is the normal reason I don't get posts on here).
So I am making this brief today. I really need to get back to the novel. I'm leaving you with a tease (or two if you count the picture). Here's the first line of the novel. Actually it's the first line of chapter one (there's a prologue as well).
Standing in the sea of boxes, he did not realize that he was not alone in the house.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Just kill me
I have transformed procrastination into a new art form. I should have spent time this weekend working on my NaNoWriMo (which I am sure is Japanese for I don't want to write no more) novel. But no. I'm the one with the boyfriend remember. The boyfriend, who only needs to flash those baby blues at me and he gets his way. He is truly evil. Spawn of Satan evil.
First it was going out on Friday night. He really wanted to hang out with friends. But not alone. Oh no, I had to be there too. "But Honey," he said, "I look better when I am standing next to you." Uh huh. I can translate that. That actually means, "Because you are older, I look really hot when I stand near you."
Saturday it was a trip out to see the leaves. I thought for sure it was going to be a road trip - out and back fairly quickly. Uh huh. Mr. Younger-and-in-such-better-shape decided it would be nice to walk through Valley Forge. All of Valley Forge. That's 2500 acres. I believe at least 2499 of that is uphill. By the time I got back there was going to be no writing. Nope, I was too tired to sit up. Satan Jr. drew me a bath and then proceeded to... Oh c'mon, you can figure that part out.
And then yesterday. Oh yes. The day when I thought I would engineer the procrastination all on my own. I wanted to spend the day watching football from the safety of some horizontal surface. Nope. The Prince of Darkness got a call from friends who wanted to PLAY football. And of course he said yes. I'm thinking, cool, he can go and I can just lie here. That’s when he said, “Of course Joey will come.”
Today I am sitting here at work, heating pad on my back, bandage on my arm, and bruises on my face, chest, sides, and thighs. I am not into pain. At all. Please someone, kill me. At least send pain killers!
First it was going out on Friday night. He really wanted to hang out with friends. But not alone. Oh no, I had to be there too. "But Honey," he said, "I look better when I am standing next to you." Uh huh. I can translate that. That actually means, "Because you are older, I look really hot when I stand near you."
Saturday it was a trip out to see the leaves. I thought for sure it was going to be a road trip - out and back fairly quickly. Uh huh. Mr. Younger-and-in-such-better-shape decided it would be nice to walk through Valley Forge. All of Valley Forge. That's 2500 acres. I believe at least 2499 of that is uphill. By the time I got back there was going to be no writing. Nope, I was too tired to sit up. Satan Jr. drew me a bath and then proceeded to... Oh c'mon, you can figure that part out.
And then yesterday. Oh yes. The day when I thought I would engineer the procrastination all on my own. I wanted to spend the day watching football from the safety of some horizontal surface. Nope. The Prince of Darkness got a call from friends who wanted to PLAY football. And of course he said yes. I'm thinking, cool, he can go and I can just lie here. That’s when he said, “Of course Joey will come.”
Today I am sitting here at work, heating pad on my back, bandage on my arm, and bruises on my face, chest, sides, and thighs. I am not into pain. At all. Please someone, kill me. At least send pain killers!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Are you nuts?
Normally the pictures I post are chosen for a specific reason. They either illustrate the topic I am discussing, or reflect my mood at the time of the post.
I am sure that was already apparent to anyone who stops by here. And for the rest of you, now you'll look twice.
But today's picture you will assume has absolutely nothing to do with this post. I'll prove you wrong. Later.
I have done something that will prove to people who think I am crazy, that they are completely and utterly correct. I barely have any free time at all to do anything that is, well, just for me. I treasure each and every rare minute I scrounge up to just do absolutely nothing.
So what do I go and do, you ask? Well I decided to join a writing project. Not just any little ol' writing project either. I joined in the NaNoWriMo project. Yes dear friends it is National Novel Writing Month, and I have agreed to attempt the 50,000 word goal by the end of November.
See. Told you I was nuts.
So for the next few weeks, I may occasionally throw some snippets up here just to show you I am working on it.
Oh. How does Reichen figure into this post? He's the model for one of my main characters. I mean, come on, how much more inspiration could a boy ask for? :)
ps: Thanks to everyone for their very kind words when I wasn't feeling well. That was very sweet, and very appreciated.
I am sure that was already apparent to anyone who stops by here. And for the rest of you, now you'll look twice.
But today's picture you will assume has absolutely nothing to do with this post. I'll prove you wrong. Later.
I have done something that will prove to people who think I am crazy, that they are completely and utterly correct. I barely have any free time at all to do anything that is, well, just for me. I treasure each and every rare minute I scrounge up to just do absolutely nothing.
So what do I go and do, you ask? Well I decided to join a writing project. Not just any little ol' writing project either. I joined in the NaNoWriMo project. Yes dear friends it is National Novel Writing Month, and I have agreed to attempt the 50,000 word goal by the end of November.
See. Told you I was nuts.
So for the next few weeks, I may occasionally throw some snippets up here just to show you I am working on it.
Oh. How does Reichen figure into this post? He's the model for one of my main characters. I mean, come on, how much more inspiration could a boy ask for? :)
ps: Thanks to everyone for their very kind words when I wasn't feeling well. That was very sweet, and very appreciated.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Ugh
Since it's Halloween I guess it fits. I've had what is best known as the "creeping cruds" for most of the past week. My system seems to have been fighting off - something. While most people around me had aches and chills, and sore throats, exhaustion, and general malaise, I've mostly just had the exhaustion. Sleep has been my best friend. I missed the weekend totally, opting to trade costumes and frolic for the comfort of my couch and a quilt.
I spent most of last week trudging to work, and coming home to rest. Is it better to be all out sick, or just going through the body war that keeps you tired? Well when you are completely ill, you stay home and get better. This way, I was still functional, just miserable. Feeling better today - so far anyway.
Scary creatures will be coming to my door tonight. I think maybe I'll leave the candy bowl on the porch, and get some sleep.
I spent most of last week trudging to work, and coming home to rest. Is it better to be all out sick, or just going through the body war that keeps you tired? Well when you are completely ill, you stay home and get better. This way, I was still functional, just miserable. Feeling better today - so far anyway.
Scary creatures will be coming to my door tonight. I think maybe I'll leave the candy bowl on the porch, and get some sleep.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Oddly enough
Someone mentioned I should take a look at my statistics to see the keywords that people type into search engines that ultimately lead to this corner of the world. So here is two seconds of searches. I must say, it's ummmm, interesting. And disturbing...
18:00:02 joeydestino.blogspot.com (Google)
Well that makes sense.
18:00:02 Steve Sandvoss (AOL)
Wise choice. I loves me some Steve!
18:00:01 stephen lynch what halloween means to me (Yahoo)
Another wise choice. BTW, I do not profit from the link to his site. Unless he gets me tickets (Hint Hint Stephen).
18:00:01 hot guys (Netscape)
Well that one makes sense too! Why do people think these searches are odd?
18:00:01 Try this one," said Jack, "and I'll say it just one time. Tell you what, we could a had a good (Google)
Oh dear goddess, you typed all of that? You can find the whole story online typing a lot less than that.
18:00:01 NJ gym masturbate shower (Google)
I don't remember stringing those 4 expressions together so it must be a shore post. Oh and, ewwwwww. Never masturbate in a gym shower. Do that at home. Now if someone else is doing it to you...
18:00:01 get traveling destin (MSN)
I have no clue on this one.
18:00:01 Marc Sparky Bartolomeo photo OR picture (Google)
Good taste :)
18:00:01 fake drowning (Google)
Hmmm. Ah, the lifeguard post!
18:00:01 hot guys (AOL)
Wow, that's popular.
18:00:01 i want to read brokeback mountain (MSN)
Ok fine. Here's a hint people. Try doing a search on Amazon's site. The whole text is there.
18:00:01 sucksdick (MSN)
Why yes, that's what men who date other men do. Usually. According to Margaret Cho it's the secret to great abs.
18:00:01 lesbian strap on sex samples (Yahoo)
Oh Sweet-Cher-In-Spandex-And-Leather, are you in the wrong place!!!
Courage
In 1955, the year of the famous bus incident near the intersection of Montgomery and Moulton streets, Parks was 42 years old. She denies that she remained seated because she was tired. "The only tired I was, was tired of giving in," she said.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Halloween
One of my favorite people (and a very funny guy), Stephen Lynch, has a new Halloween song out. You can listen to it here:
The Halloween Song
If you are at work, or around small kids, I would suggest headphones. I have a feeling Ms. Bee's Knees will love this one!
Incidentally, Stephen will be appearing on Broadway in March as "The Wedding Singer".
Of course Stephen will be getting me opening night tickets for the plug :).
The Halloween Song
If you are at work, or around small kids, I would suggest headphones. I have a feeling Ms. Bee's Knees will love this one!
Incidentally, Stephen will be appearing on Broadway in March as "The Wedding Singer".
Of course Stephen will be getting me opening night tickets for the plug :).
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
When the boyfriend's away...
BF left last Wednesday for a trip out of town, and will not be back until later this week. Now we normally don't see each other every day as it is. Often just a few times during the week, and usually we spend weekends together.
Well this past weekend I was alone.
So you know what that means. Let me see...
Wine, a trip into the city, tucking bills in go-go boys' g-strings, loud music, martinis, leather, downstairs at the Bike Stop, singing at the Tavern, groping strangers, testing DNA samples of every hot guy in the bar, following that really really hot baseball player home, and then...
Yeah that's all of the things that could have happened. But they didn't. My weekend was quiet. Saint Hazel barely ever left the house. I got a lot of cleaning done without the added distraction of BF around. Laundry is caught up. Closets changed over for cold weather. New shelf paper in the kitchen cabinets. CDs organized.
Sigh. I'm getting old.
And I miss him.
Well this past weekend I was alone.
So you know what that means. Let me see...
Wine, a trip into the city, tucking bills in go-go boys' g-strings, loud music, martinis, leather, downstairs at the Bike Stop, singing at the Tavern, groping strangers, testing DNA samples of every hot guy in the bar, following that really really hot baseball player home, and then...
Yeah that's all of the things that could have happened. But they didn't. My weekend was quiet. Saint Hazel barely ever left the house. I got a lot of cleaning done without the added distraction of BF around. Laundry is caught up. Closets changed over for cold weather. New shelf paper in the kitchen cabinets. CDs organized.
Sigh. I'm getting old.
And I miss him.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Never squeeze it like that.
Time: One evening this past summer
Scene: At the shore
JD: Awww shit! That shot right in my eye!!!! Shit!!!!!!
BF: Oh Honey, I am so sorry!
JD: Oh man that fraking burns!!!!
BF: Do you want me to get you something to wipe it off with?
JD: No, I want you to lick it off. Of course – get something! Owww. Crap!!!
BF: I’m really really really sorry. I didn’t mean for it to hit your eye.
JD: I told you if you squeezed it like that, that would happen.
BF: I tried to cover it with my hand, but it just sort of shot out before I was ready.
JD: Damn, I’m probably going to be blind now! Do you have any idea what it feels like to have this in your eye?
BF: No, Honey, it’s never ever happened to me before. I am so sorry.
JD: Can you see me trying to explain why I can’t see out of my eye to my boss? Or my family? Or my friends?
BF: Maybe if we rinse your eye out with water?
JD: I’m going to be disfigured for life, because you had to squeeze it like that!!!
BF: Babe, I am really truly sorry. Really. Next time I’ll do what you said, slow down, take my time, and make sure it’s covered.
JD: Oh there is not going to be a next time!
BF: What?
JD: No. Absolutely not. Next time I’ll do it by myself.
BF: But...
JD: No, you are forbidden to ever touch another lemon. If I want lemon on my fish, I will do it myself!
BF: Did I mention I love you?
JD: Sigh.
Scene: At the shore
JD: Awww shit! That shot right in my eye!!!! Shit!!!!!!
BF: Oh Honey, I am so sorry!
JD: Oh man that fraking burns!!!!
BF: Do you want me to get you something to wipe it off with?
JD: No, I want you to lick it off. Of course – get something! Owww. Crap!!!
BF: I’m really really really sorry. I didn’t mean for it to hit your eye.
JD: I told you if you squeezed it like that, that would happen.
BF: I tried to cover it with my hand, but it just sort of shot out before I was ready.
JD: Damn, I’m probably going to be blind now! Do you have any idea what it feels like to have this in your eye?
BF: No, Honey, it’s never ever happened to me before. I am so sorry.
JD: Can you see me trying to explain why I can’t see out of my eye to my boss? Or my family? Or my friends?
BF: Maybe if we rinse your eye out with water?
JD: I’m going to be disfigured for life, because you had to squeeze it like that!!!
BF: Babe, I am really truly sorry. Really. Next time I’ll do what you said, slow down, take my time, and make sure it’s covered.
JD: Oh there is not going to be a next time!
BF: What?
JD: No. Absolutely not. Next time I’ll do it by myself.
BF: But...
JD: No, you are forbidden to ever touch another lemon. If I want lemon on my fish, I will do it myself!
BF: Did I mention I love you?
JD: Sigh.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
What's the news across the nation?
Things to do while getting ready for work. My take on today's headlines:
Deadly bird flu strain found in Turkey
Oh great, there goes my dinner plans for Thanksgiving
Fox Cancels 'The Simple Life'
And we care why?
Republican Senate leader subpoenaed in possible insider trading probe
There's a shock. Anyone wanna guess on how he'll get off?
Fox Ends Paris' "Life"
It was only a matter of time before someone did.
First day of school for aspiring Vatican exorcists
From the people who had problems with Harry Potter
Report: It's Over for Jude and Sienna
And we care why?
Couples on East, West Coasts Wait to Wed
Join the club. We've been waiting a long time ourselves.
Martha Stewart to build houses with KB Home
Will anyone be shocked if they turn out to all be celery green?
Woman's body found at recycling center
Makes sense to me
A Historic Discovery, in Beethoven's Own Hand
Let me guess. His dick?
'Prada' latest: So not worth it
I've been saying that for years
Apple follows up portable music with launch of video iPod
Gee, wonder what they will release next month that everyone will rush out to buy? Any of you who want to sell me your old iPods, let me know.
An Antarctica Sighting in Central Park
Unless it shows up in DC, the Republicans will still deny Global Warming
Yahoo To Bar Pedophile Chat Rooms
They just thought of this now?
New Heatshield Design Tests Europe and Russian Researchers
Wonder how many they can strap on to the rocket at a time?
Deadly bird flu strain found in Turkey
Oh great, there goes my dinner plans for Thanksgiving
Fox Cancels 'The Simple Life'
And we care why?
Republican Senate leader subpoenaed in possible insider trading probe
There's a shock. Anyone wanna guess on how he'll get off?
Fox Ends Paris' "Life"
It was only a matter of time before someone did.
First day of school for aspiring Vatican exorcists
From the people who had problems with Harry Potter
Report: It's Over for Jude and Sienna
And we care why?
Couples on East, West Coasts Wait to Wed
Join the club. We've been waiting a long time ourselves.
Martha Stewart to build houses with KB Home
Will anyone be shocked if they turn out to all be celery green?
Woman's body found at recycling center
Makes sense to me
A Historic Discovery, in Beethoven's Own Hand
Let me guess. His dick?
'Prada' latest: So not worth it
I've been saying that for years
Apple follows up portable music with launch of video iPod
Gee, wonder what they will release next month that everyone will rush out to buy? Any of you who want to sell me your old iPods, let me know.
An Antarctica Sighting in Central Park
Unless it shows up in DC, the Republicans will still deny Global Warming
Yahoo To Bar Pedophile Chat Rooms
They just thought of this now?
New Heatshield Design Tests Europe and Russian Researchers
Wonder how many they can strap on to the rocket at a time?
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
A note from Judy Shepard
October 12th 2005, is the seventh anniversary of my son Matthew's murder. His murder prompted unprecedented media coverage and focused the nation's attention on anti-gay hate crimes like never before. These past few weeks I have been thinking about what has changed - and what has not changed. What has been done to make our communities safe from violence resulting from anti-gay hate? I quickly learned my son's violent death was a fairly common occurrence. This prompted our family to create the Matthew Shepard Foundation and do our part to create a more respectful and caring culture free from hate. I have spent the past seven years traveling across the nation, speaking to schools, churches, anyone who will listen, to try and stem the tide of hate that is eating away at the fabric of our culture.
The number of hate crimes against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people has not varied much during the last five years. They remain the third highest category after race and religion. However, it is apparent that there are certain changes in the 'environment' that do impact hate crime activity. In New York City, every July, anti-gay violence usually increases by about 8% as people respond to the outreach programs and the visibility of the Pride celebrations. After the Lawrence v. Texas decision and the premiere of additional gay identified television shows, anti-gay violence in New York City rose 52%.
It's clear that in some ways, our nation has become a more accepting place. We have witnessed the progress of gay and lesbian rights with the recent Supreme Court decision, Lawrence v Texas. We have seen our neighbor to the North - Ontario, Canada - acknowledge same-sex marriages. They have recognized that same sex couples are as deserving of the same equal rights and responsibilities as heterosexual couples. We have seen gay adoptions increase. We have seen growing visibility, acceptance and understanding of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in our families, in the corporate world and in our culture.
However, we must also remember that there has been scant progress in areas of legislation and securing equal rights for the gay community. We continue to fight for hate crime legislation that will include sexual orientation, gender, and disability, and for federal job protection based on sexual orientation. Yes, you can be fired for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender in 36 states of this nation. It is as if we are living in two Americas - one that tunes in to "Queer Eye for a Straight Guy" but turns a blind eye to the injustices gay and lesbian people still face.
It is evident that with progress comes the inevitable attack by those who are threatened by our work for justice and fairness. Visibility - whether in the media or being out of the closet if you are gay - can serve as an unfortunate catalyst. Those who are threatened by our community are threatened by these strides. In 2003, more than 30 cities and towns reported crimes against gays. The vast majority do not garner national headlines like my son's murder did. Sakia Gunn, a 15 year old lesbian was fatally stabbed in Newark, New Jersey on 5/11/03, F.C. Martinez, a Navajo, transgender 16-year old murdered in a bias motivated attack are two examples but the list goes on. We have so far to go, so much hate is out there. It must be acknowledged, addressed and erased before any of us are safe.
As we approach the anniversary of Matthew's murder it is appropriate to redouble my efforts to invoke a grassroots solution to this problem. It is a solution that begins with parents, educators, clergy and our communities as a whole. We have the opportunity to help our children understand and accept diversity before their school years begin and before hate can provoke violent actions. If we do our jobs correctly, it should never cross the minds of our children to harm someone, physically or emotionally, because of their gender, race, national origin, religion, disability or gender identity and expression.
Hate is a learned behavior. If a child is taught to hate and fear diversity, then the next place he or she expresses that hate is at school. Ten percent of all hate crimes occur at schools and colleges . Bullying in our nation's schools has resulted in countless acts of violence. The cycle continues until that child who is filled with hate becomes an adult citizen in your community and begins to teach others to hate.
Please help your children understand diversity without fearing it. Be an example of acceptance and compassion. The consequences of hate hurt everyone. It hurts not only the victim - it hurts their family and friends. It destroys the families of the perpetrators. Lives are lost, lives are ruined and lives are changed forever.
Matthew Shepard Foundation
The number of hate crimes against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people has not varied much during the last five years. They remain the third highest category after race and religion. However, it is apparent that there are certain changes in the 'environment' that do impact hate crime activity. In New York City, every July, anti-gay violence usually increases by about 8% as people respond to the outreach programs and the visibility of the Pride celebrations. After the Lawrence v. Texas decision and the premiere of additional gay identified television shows, anti-gay violence in New York City rose 52%.
It's clear that in some ways, our nation has become a more accepting place. We have witnessed the progress of gay and lesbian rights with the recent Supreme Court decision, Lawrence v Texas. We have seen our neighbor to the North - Ontario, Canada - acknowledge same-sex marriages. They have recognized that same sex couples are as deserving of the same equal rights and responsibilities as heterosexual couples. We have seen gay adoptions increase. We have seen growing visibility, acceptance and understanding of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in our families, in the corporate world and in our culture.
However, we must also remember that there has been scant progress in areas of legislation and securing equal rights for the gay community. We continue to fight for hate crime legislation that will include sexual orientation, gender, and disability, and for federal job protection based on sexual orientation. Yes, you can be fired for being gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender in 36 states of this nation. It is as if we are living in two Americas - one that tunes in to "Queer Eye for a Straight Guy" but turns a blind eye to the injustices gay and lesbian people still face.
It is evident that with progress comes the inevitable attack by those who are threatened by our work for justice and fairness. Visibility - whether in the media or being out of the closet if you are gay - can serve as an unfortunate catalyst. Those who are threatened by our community are threatened by these strides. In 2003, more than 30 cities and towns reported crimes against gays. The vast majority do not garner national headlines like my son's murder did. Sakia Gunn, a 15 year old lesbian was fatally stabbed in Newark, New Jersey on 5/11/03, F.C. Martinez, a Navajo, transgender 16-year old murdered in a bias motivated attack are two examples but the list goes on. We have so far to go, so much hate is out there. It must be acknowledged, addressed and erased before any of us are safe.
As we approach the anniversary of Matthew's murder it is appropriate to redouble my efforts to invoke a grassroots solution to this problem. It is a solution that begins with parents, educators, clergy and our communities as a whole. We have the opportunity to help our children understand and accept diversity before their school years begin and before hate can provoke violent actions. If we do our jobs correctly, it should never cross the minds of our children to harm someone, physically or emotionally, because of their gender, race, national origin, religion, disability or gender identity and expression.
Hate is a learned behavior. If a child is taught to hate and fear diversity, then the next place he or she expresses that hate is at school. Ten percent of all hate crimes occur at schools and colleges . Bullying in our nation's schools has resulted in countless acts of violence. The cycle continues until that child who is filled with hate becomes an adult citizen in your community and begins to teach others to hate.
Please help your children understand diversity without fearing it. Be an example of acceptance and compassion. The consequences of hate hurt everyone. It hurts not only the victim - it hurts their family and friends. It destroys the families of the perpetrators. Lives are lost, lives are ruined and lives are changed forever.
Matthew Shepard Foundation
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Got to let it show
So it's National Coming Out Day here in the US. Yes, the mail is still delivered, banks are open, and the government has to go to work. Well, whatever it is that they do, they have to be in their offices.
I thought I would take time to celebrate today by sharing my coming out story. But. I don't have one. Oh I am sure there are little stories here and there about when I first told so and so. But thinking back, I don't really remember a time where I planned and agonized over telling someone. I probably have, but I may have just blocked it out.
See I have never been one to just announce to the world that I am gay. Nor have I ever been one to hide it. I am sure that I have, in deference to my not being beaten to a pulp or saving my job in years past.
Gay is just one adjective that describes me. I live by the "You ask, I'll tell" policy. If I believe the person asking has any malicious intent whatsoever, I answer the question flippantly, and then follow up with a question right back. "Damn straight I am. Are you homophobic, or just interested in taking me to dinner?".
So there you have it. My not so exciting not really coming out story. So should you be Out and Proud? Well, I believe everyone should do what is best for them. If you want to paste a rainbow sticker on your forehead and be out and loud, by all means do so. If that's just not you, then don't. But just be honest with yourself, and love yourself. Everything else will fall in place.
I thought I would take time to celebrate today by sharing my coming out story. But. I don't have one. Oh I am sure there are little stories here and there about when I first told so and so. But thinking back, I don't really remember a time where I planned and agonized over telling someone. I probably have, but I may have just blocked it out.
See I have never been one to just announce to the world that I am gay. Nor have I ever been one to hide it. I am sure that I have, in deference to my not being beaten to a pulp or saving my job in years past.
Gay is just one adjective that describes me. I live by the "You ask, I'll tell" policy. If I believe the person asking has any malicious intent whatsoever, I answer the question flippantly, and then follow up with a question right back. "Damn straight I am. Are you homophobic, or just interested in taking me to dinner?".
So there you have it. My not so exciting not really coming out story. So should you be Out and Proud? Well, I believe everyone should do what is best for them. If you want to paste a rainbow sticker on your forehead and be out and loud, by all means do so. If that's just not you, then don't. But just be honest with yourself, and love yourself. Everything else will fall in place.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Boys are Icky
So it's 5:00 AM and I stumble into the bathroom, led by the toilet-seeking divining rod that I am attached to. As I am walking across the tile in my semi-sleeping state, my foot steps on something. Something small, but hard.
Let me preface by saying, I hate stepping on things. One morning I walked out onto my patio and stepped on an earthworm. My neighbors were not happy with the shrill piercing scream at 5 in the morning let me tell you. Ok so I thought it was a snake. I hate snakes. And earthworms. And things you step on that are wet and slimy. Well okay, things in general.
Anyway, back to the bathroom. Now as soon as my foggy brain made sense of the fact that I had indeed stepped on something, on a floor that should have been relatively clean, a stream of obscenities come flying from my mouth. Well it's better than screaming and much more beneficial to the spirit.
Of course I can't stop to look what it is that I stepped on because Mr. Johnson has only one thing on his one-eyed mind, and that is the toilet in front of him. Picture if you will, being in the front of your toilet, urinating, with something on your foot that may or may not have cut it. You are only half-awake. Of course you do the inevitable. You lift your foot to look. While urinating.
Mmmm-hmmm. Yep. Now the toilet is wet where it shouldn't be. The floor is wet. The sink is wet. The roll of toilet paper is wet. I am wet. The day is not starting off well.
Note to self: just because the BF is cute and handsome and smart and sexy and caring and awesome, does not mean you can't kill him for leaving toenail clippings on the floor which become embedded in your foot when stepped on.
Let me preface by saying, I hate stepping on things. One morning I walked out onto my patio and stepped on an earthworm. My neighbors were not happy with the shrill piercing scream at 5 in the morning let me tell you. Ok so I thought it was a snake. I hate snakes. And earthworms. And things you step on that are wet and slimy. Well okay, things in general.
Anyway, back to the bathroom. Now as soon as my foggy brain made sense of the fact that I had indeed stepped on something, on a floor that should have been relatively clean, a stream of obscenities come flying from my mouth. Well it's better than screaming and much more beneficial to the spirit.
Of course I can't stop to look what it is that I stepped on because Mr. Johnson has only one thing on his one-eyed mind, and that is the toilet in front of him. Picture if you will, being in the front of your toilet, urinating, with something on your foot that may or may not have cut it. You are only half-awake. Of course you do the inevitable. You lift your foot to look. While urinating.
Mmmm-hmmm. Yep. Now the toilet is wet where it shouldn't be. The floor is wet. The sink is wet. The roll of toilet paper is wet. I am wet. The day is not starting off well.
Note to self: just because the BF is cute and handsome and smart and sexy and caring and awesome, does not mean you can't kill him for leaving toenail clippings on the floor which become embedded in your foot when stepped on.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Guess Who
Well Ray started it. He had to post a pic of his new BF. And the BF is HOT!
So I thought maybe I would post a pic of the guy that makes my heart flutter. That's him over there-->
So let me tell you about him. For months now, every Saturday and Sunday morning I wake up, and there he is. Always smiling. Always helpful. He does a lot of charity work too in his spare time. He's very athletic, and will try just about anything. As you can see from the pic, he is a triathlete too. His name is Adam.
Now wouldn't you want to wake up in bed on the weekend and see him? Well you can if you live in this area. He does the weekend weather (a meteorologist) for a local news station.
Oh I almost forgot. Please don't tell BF about him. I don't want him to know there's a new man in my life, at least not until Adam actually meets me and asks me to marry him. And Adam, if you read this, call me.
So I thought maybe I would post a pic of the guy that makes my heart flutter. That's him over there-->
So let me tell you about him. For months now, every Saturday and Sunday morning I wake up, and there he is. Always smiling. Always helpful. He does a lot of charity work too in his spare time. He's very athletic, and will try just about anything. As you can see from the pic, he is a triathlete too. His name is Adam.
Now wouldn't you want to wake up in bed on the weekend and see him? Well you can if you live in this area. He does the weekend weather (a meteorologist) for a local news station.
Oh I almost forgot. Please don't tell BF about him. I don't want him to know there's a new man in my life, at least not until Adam actually meets me and asks me to marry him. And Adam, if you read this, call me.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Oh no you di'in't
We interrupt our normally scheduled slightly humorous and self-absorbed post, to bring you a public service announcement.
You see, a number of my fellow bloggers are going through some rough times right now, and I was working on something humorous to lighten the blogosphere (Shuttup, it's a word. Because I said so that's why!). But then I received an email from a "fan". What sort of email, you ask? Let's just say it was not a "I love you Joey" type email. Nope, this person was berating me for going on and on about BF, and my wonderful life.
My first thought of course was, "Jesus Christ, would you rather read the entries from my private journal where I almost committed suicide last year after Kirk was killed?". Okay, I thought not.
So yes, right now things are going well here in Joeyland. It wasn't always the case. And it may not be in the future. But that's just the way it is. But make no mistake. I still have debt, car payments, a mortgage, and I do live damn near paycheck to paycheck. But yes, there are blessings in my life. A good job, a man who seems to adore me (and I don't understand why), and my own house. What you don't really know is the struggle to get myself to this point. Maybe I'll share it someday. But for now, no.
So to my friends who are having problems, I am here. I'll help if I can.
And to the anonymous "fan", write what you want on your own damn blog, and don't read mine if it bothers you so much. Oh, and, I like the pictures I post. Get over it!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled humorous post.
Hear about the new gay sitcom?
"Leave it, it's Beaver."
You see, a number of my fellow bloggers are going through some rough times right now, and I was working on something humorous to lighten the blogosphere (Shuttup, it's a word. Because I said so that's why!). But then I received an email from a "fan". What sort of email, you ask? Let's just say it was not a "I love you Joey" type email. Nope, this person was berating me for going on and on about BF, and my wonderful life.
My first thought of course was, "Jesus Christ, would you rather read the entries from my private journal where I almost committed suicide last year after Kirk was killed?". Okay, I thought not.
So yes, right now things are going well here in Joeyland. It wasn't always the case. And it may not be in the future. But that's just the way it is. But make no mistake. I still have debt, car payments, a mortgage, and I do live damn near paycheck to paycheck. But yes, there are blessings in my life. A good job, a man who seems to adore me (and I don't understand why), and my own house. What you don't really know is the struggle to get myself to this point. Maybe I'll share it someday. But for now, no.
So to my friends who are having problems, I am here. I'll help if I can.
And to the anonymous "fan", write what you want on your own damn blog, and don't read mine if it bothers you so much. Oh, and, I like the pictures I post. Get over it!
We now return you to your regularly scheduled humorous post.
Hear about the new gay sitcom?
"Leave it, it's Beaver."
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