In the tradition of, well everybody else, let's recap.
I learned how to buy underwear for myself that doesn't say FTL on them.
I learned early in the year that dating and men suck. And not always in the good way.
I learned the joys and pains (mostly pains) of manscaping.
I learned that men who want to control your lives are asshats. Oh and I learned the word asshat and I can use it in a sentence!
I learned that the boy that I have had a crush on for over two years, had a crush on me too.
I learned that one can have the most awesome summer of their lives, when spent with those that you love.
I learned that I am capable of loving again after tragedy, and that my mouth can actually speak the words I love you.
And what else?
I learned that a gay man can be best friends with a straight man.
I learned I was nominated for a blog award in the Popular category. I still haven't figured that one out. (link to vote posted in a post below)
I can actually go to the gym and not leave feeling like I have been beaten with a stick. Ok make that many sticks.
I can play football. Although not well. And not by choice.
I can finally tear down the wall that kept me from asking the boyfriend to live with me.
And.
I actually had the cohones to ask him to marry me.
And.
He said yes.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Totally baring it all
As he pulled on the gold ribbon, I held my breath. I had no idea what reaction I was going to get, and in those few seconds I was sure that I was a complete ass. My entire future, my entire life, rested on the next minute of time.
The ribbon fell to the floor. He turned the package over, and began picking at the tape. I wanted to scream. But I couldn't inhale, without exhaling. He gingerly undid one side of the package. I was turning blue. How long can one exist without oxygen anyway?
He had already opened the envelope with the shore house lease. That was met with a huge positive response. I was 1 for 1 at that point. But, now. He turned the package around and began picking at the other side of the tape. I wanted to kill him. Okay not really, but I was this close to grabbing the package out of his hands and either ripping it open myself, or just refusing to give it to him. How could I have done this to myself? And why can't he just rip it open like a normal person?
Finally he had the paper off, and I think I exhaled. I couldn't tell. I was too light-headed at that moment to really comprehend. He opened the box, peeled back the tissue paper, and removed the small black velvet box.
And that's when I knew I had made a huge mistake. A huge fuckup of momentous proportions. He looked at the box, but not at me. And he said, "Oh". It wasn't a "Oh wow look at this" oh. It sounded like a "What in God's Name have you done" oh.
And opened the lid.
Then came a second "Oh". Okay that one had a bit more of a hopeful surprised tone to it. Maybe this was okay.
"It's a key," he said quietly.
"Yes," I replied. The key was sitting on the slot where a ring would normally be.
"But I thought it was... oh,"
Ever wish a huge hole would open in the earth and swallow you up? Yep, that's the prayer that was screaming through my brain.
He was quiet for a moment, and then he said, "Is this a key to the shore house, or your house?"
"Oh," I said (all the while thinking that I was truly an idiot). "That's a key to this house. I thought it was time you had one of your own. Especially if you will agree to move in with me. It works better that way."
"I love it. But, are you sure?" he asked.
"Absolutely. Very sure." I replied.
Then a tear slid down his face. Dear goddess I wish I could read him better! "Are you happy, or upset babe?"
He hugged me, kissed me, exclaiming how happy he was. Over and Over. Wow. All that over a key. Who knew?
The next morning, we got up and opened the rest of our gifts to each other. He was like a little kid with each one. And so was I. Paper flew everywhere. Once the last gift from under the tree was opened, I figured I would take the chance and let him open his last gift which I had hidden in the tree. It was a little bear holding a heart, which he loved. I said, "Turn it over."
On the bottom was a note that said, "Look under the key."
He looked at me with a confused expression on his face, grabbed the box with the key, pulled the key out, but he didn't see anything. Then suddenly he got it. He pulled up on the base that was holding the key.
His face lit up like I have never seen before. And I said the words I never thought would ever come out of my mouth.
"Will you marry me?"
The ribbon fell to the floor. He turned the package over, and began picking at the tape. I wanted to scream. But I couldn't inhale, without exhaling. He gingerly undid one side of the package. I was turning blue. How long can one exist without oxygen anyway?
He had already opened the envelope with the shore house lease. That was met with a huge positive response. I was 1 for 1 at that point. But, now. He turned the package around and began picking at the other side of the tape. I wanted to kill him. Okay not really, but I was this close to grabbing the package out of his hands and either ripping it open myself, or just refusing to give it to him. How could I have done this to myself? And why can't he just rip it open like a normal person?
Finally he had the paper off, and I think I exhaled. I couldn't tell. I was too light-headed at that moment to really comprehend. He opened the box, peeled back the tissue paper, and removed the small black velvet box.
And that's when I knew I had made a huge mistake. A huge fuckup of momentous proportions. He looked at the box, but not at me. And he said, "Oh". It wasn't a "Oh wow look at this" oh. It sounded like a "What in God's Name have you done" oh.
And opened the lid.
Then came a second "Oh". Okay that one had a bit more of a hopeful surprised tone to it. Maybe this was okay.
"It's a key," he said quietly.
"Yes," I replied. The key was sitting on the slot where a ring would normally be.
"But I thought it was... oh,"
Ever wish a huge hole would open in the earth and swallow you up? Yep, that's the prayer that was screaming through my brain.
He was quiet for a moment, and then he said, "Is this a key to the shore house, or your house?"
"Oh," I said (all the while thinking that I was truly an idiot). "That's a key to this house. I thought it was time you had one of your own. Especially if you will agree to move in with me. It works better that way."
"I love it. But, are you sure?" he asked.
"Absolutely. Very sure." I replied.
Then a tear slid down his face. Dear goddess I wish I could read him better! "Are you happy, or upset babe?"
He hugged me, kissed me, exclaiming how happy he was. Over and Over. Wow. All that over a key. Who knew?
The next morning, we got up and opened the rest of our gifts to each other. He was like a little kid with each one. And so was I. Paper flew everywhere. Once the last gift from under the tree was opened, I figured I would take the chance and let him open his last gift which I had hidden in the tree. It was a little bear holding a heart, which he loved. I said, "Turn it over."
On the bottom was a note that said, "Look under the key."
He looked at me with a confused expression on his face, grabbed the box with the key, pulled the key out, but he didn't see anything. Then suddenly he got it. He pulled up on the base that was holding the key.
His face lit up like I have never seen before. And I said the words I never thought would ever come out of my mouth.
"Will you marry me?"
Monday, December 26, 2005
I'm off
The BF and I are off to visit my family for a few days.
Christmas Eve was, well, special. But a boy needs to tell his mother some news in person first. I'll tell you all about it when we get back.
I was told I should be campaigning for the Best Gay Blog thing. Not really my style. But if you want to vote here's the link: Best Gay Blogs
Hope your holidays are fun! I'll be back in a few days...
Christmas Eve was, well, special. But a boy needs to tell his mother some news in person first. I'll tell you all about it when we get back.
I was told I should be campaigning for the Best Gay Blog thing. Not really my style. But if you want to vote here's the link: Best Gay Blogs
Hope your holidays are fun! I'll be back in a few days...
Friday, December 23, 2005
The Future
"Are you asleep?" he said, nuzzling my neck.
"Not as long as you keep doing that," I replied.
"Is there anything you wanted for Christmas that I don't know about?" he whispered in my ear.
"I don't remember ever mentioning anything that I wanted, but I know you will surprise me. You always do."
"I just want to make sure you get all you ever wanted. I want you to have the best Christmas ever," he said, running his hand over my chest.
"Honey, I already have all I ever wanted. I have you." I whispered back.
"Good," he said, "because that's what I got you."
I have a feeling this Christmas is going to be quite a surprise. I really have no idea what he will come up with. And that's what I love most about him.
For him, there will be a Christmas evening in front of the fire, just the two of us. I am giving him two gifts tomorrow night. One, a lease for the shore house for next summer with just our names on it. The other, well, I don't want to say here just in case he has found out about this site. But I can tell you it is going to change both of our lives significantly. And it is extremely romantic.
"Not as long as you keep doing that," I replied.
"Is there anything you wanted for Christmas that I don't know about?" he whispered in my ear.
"I don't remember ever mentioning anything that I wanted, but I know you will surprise me. You always do."
"I just want to make sure you get all you ever wanted. I want you to have the best Christmas ever," he said, running his hand over my chest.
"Honey, I already have all I ever wanted. I have you." I whispered back.
"Good," he said, "because that's what I got you."
I have a feeling this Christmas is going to be quite a surprise. I really have no idea what he will come up with. And that's what I love most about him.
For him, there will be a Christmas evening in front of the fire, just the two of us. I am giving him two gifts tomorrow night. One, a lease for the shore house for next summer with just our names on it. The other, well, I don't want to say here just in case he has found out about this site. But I can tell you it is going to change both of our lives significantly. And it is extremely romantic.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Traditions
I read something yesterday that reminded me of a story that has been passed down for generations in my family. A story of how one of the family traditions had gotten its start. I would love to share it with you all, in the spirit of the holiday season:
One Christmas season, a long long time ago, the North Pole was a rush of activity getting ready for the big night. And as fate would have it, there were problems everywhere and Santa was really feeling the pressure. Many of his veteran toymakers were sick with a nasty flu, and the remaining healthy elves were in danger of not having the toys finished on time.
He decided to take a break in the barn to calm his nerves, which visiting his reindeer always seemed to do. But when he got to the barn, he found out that most of them also had the flu, and may not be able to make the trip.
Loading the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground scattering toys everywhere. By this point Santa's frustration level was so high, he decided a drink was in order, so he went into the house for some Irish Coffee. He grabbed the coffeepot and headed for the liquor cabinet, which he found locked. He yelled for Mrs. Claus, who when she arrived reminded him that she always kept the cabinet locked around the holidays so Santa wouldn't drink and drive. On her way out the door, she told Santa that her mother and father were coming to spend the holidays with them.
This stressed Santa even more. In his frustration, he dropped the coffeepot by accident and it shattered all over the floor. When he went to get the broom he found that the mice had used the straw to build their nests. Just as he slammed the closet door shut, the doorbell rang. Fuming by this point, he opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa! Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. I picked out the loveliest tree I could find, just for you! Where would you like me to stick it?
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
One Christmas season, a long long time ago, the North Pole was a rush of activity getting ready for the big night. And as fate would have it, there were problems everywhere and Santa was really feeling the pressure. Many of his veteran toymakers were sick with a nasty flu, and the remaining healthy elves were in danger of not having the toys finished on time.
He decided to take a break in the barn to calm his nerves, which visiting his reindeer always seemed to do. But when he got to the barn, he found out that most of them also had the flu, and may not be able to make the trip.
Loading the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground scattering toys everywhere. By this point Santa's frustration level was so high, he decided a drink was in order, so he went into the house for some Irish Coffee. He grabbed the coffeepot and headed for the liquor cabinet, which he found locked. He yelled for Mrs. Claus, who when she arrived reminded him that she always kept the cabinet locked around the holidays so Santa wouldn't drink and drive. On her way out the door, she told Santa that her mother and father were coming to spend the holidays with them.
This stressed Santa even more. In his frustration, he dropped the coffeepot by accident and it shattered all over the floor. When he went to get the broom he found that the mice had used the straw to build their nests. Just as he slammed the closet door shut, the doorbell rang. Fuming by this point, he opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa! Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. I picked out the loveliest tree I could find, just for you! Where would you like me to stick it?
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Run Down
The holidays are definitely taking their toll. I eliminated most of my shopping by ordering online, and saved even more time by having family gifts shipped directly there. Once I get there for the holidays everything can be wrapped, instead of doing it here and then transporting them in my car.
But I have been swamped with concerts, and light displays, and evenings with friends. I am tired. I am run down.
Which reminds me, I forgot to write about my HSNB experience last week.
So there I am, all nestled snug in my bed, with visions of - well I guess you can figure that out - dancing in my head, when the phone rings. Okay my phone never rings that late at night. Ever. The BF knows better than to call, and besides he would have used my cell. And I knew where he was. He was already home in bed. Nuff said.
Panic sets in because the first thing I think is that something has happened to someone in my family. I answer the phone trepidatiously, fearing the worst. Of course you already know who it was. He says that he thinks he may have hit someone and they are lying in the road. And he asks what he should do.
Why me?
Being the good friend that I am, of course I jump out of bed and start getting dressed. Right after I tell him to stay put. And call 911. Luckily this happened not too far from where we live, on one of the back roads in Valley Forge.
As I am pulling up, all I see is headlights pointed at me. I pull over, grab my flashlight, and get out. I can see him standing next to the car, and I can see there is definitely someone down the road further, lying in the middle of the road. He is in a panic, and just keeps repeating," shit, shit, shit Joey" over and over again. I ask if he called 911, which he replies that he had. I am doing my best to calm him down, but I really feel the need to walk down and see what has actually happened. I look at my watch (I really watch too many police dramas), and it's just past midnight. I'm amazed there hasn't been any cars by. It's a back road, but usually well-traveled.
I start toward the figure in the road, the flashlight not doing all that much to show me anything until I get closer. But when I did, I could see that there was lots of blood, and whoever it was, was still alive, and thrashing around. If you live anywhere near this area of the country, you have probably already figured it out. It was a deer. And I really really wished at that moment that it would have already been dead.
I will spare you most of what happened next, but when the State Troopers showed up (40 minutes later), they had to shoot it. HSNB's car was in bad shape, but driveable, but unfortunately, he was not in very good shape at all. I got him home, to my place, and put him to bed. I finally got to sleep, on my couch, around 3.
This boy is wearing me out.
But I have been swamped with concerts, and light displays, and evenings with friends. I am tired. I am run down.
Which reminds me, I forgot to write about my HSNB experience last week.
So there I am, all nestled snug in my bed, with visions of - well I guess you can figure that out - dancing in my head, when the phone rings. Okay my phone never rings that late at night. Ever. The BF knows better than to call, and besides he would have used my cell. And I knew where he was. He was already home in bed. Nuff said.
Panic sets in because the first thing I think is that something has happened to someone in my family. I answer the phone trepidatiously, fearing the worst. Of course you already know who it was. He says that he thinks he may have hit someone and they are lying in the road. And he asks what he should do.
Why me?
Being the good friend that I am, of course I jump out of bed and start getting dressed. Right after I tell him to stay put. And call 911. Luckily this happened not too far from where we live, on one of the back roads in Valley Forge.
As I am pulling up, all I see is headlights pointed at me. I pull over, grab my flashlight, and get out. I can see him standing next to the car, and I can see there is definitely someone down the road further, lying in the middle of the road. He is in a panic, and just keeps repeating," shit, shit, shit Joey" over and over again. I ask if he called 911, which he replies that he had. I am doing my best to calm him down, but I really feel the need to walk down and see what has actually happened. I look at my watch (I really watch too many police dramas), and it's just past midnight. I'm amazed there hasn't been any cars by. It's a back road, but usually well-traveled.
I start toward the figure in the road, the flashlight not doing all that much to show me anything until I get closer. But when I did, I could see that there was lots of blood, and whoever it was, was still alive, and thrashing around. If you live anywhere near this area of the country, you have probably already figured it out. It was a deer. And I really really wished at that moment that it would have already been dead.
I will spare you most of what happened next, but when the State Troopers showed up (40 minutes later), they had to shoot it. HSNB's car was in bad shape, but driveable, but unfortunately, he was not in very good shape at all. I got him home, to my place, and put him to bed. I finally got to sleep, on my couch, around 3.
This boy is wearing me out.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
They nominated me where?!?
I was just sitting there thinking...
"Hmmm, should I blog about my getting a call from HSNB in the middle of the night, and my rushing out the door into the cold night to give him what he needed"
or
"Should I blog about how silly all those blog awards are? How I have never been one of the popular kids anyway, and that I don't write for awards. I do it for artistic expression."
And then I received an email telling me I have been nominated for a "Best Gay Blogs" award in the Popular category.
Homo say what?
How the hell did that happen?
I am flattered. Extremely.
And as they say in the business, it's just an honor to be nominated.
So go check out the list if you want, and if you want to throw me a bone (pun always intended), then, thank you very much. Best Gay Blogs
Now about that late night phone call... Maybe tomorrow.
"Hmmm, should I blog about my getting a call from HSNB in the middle of the night, and my rushing out the door into the cold night to give him what he needed"
or
"Should I blog about how silly all those blog awards are? How I have never been one of the popular kids anyway, and that I don't write for awards. I do it for artistic expression."
And then I received an email telling me I have been nominated for a "Best Gay Blogs" award in the Popular category.
Homo say what?
How the hell did that happen?
I am flattered. Extremely.
And as they say in the business, it's just an honor to be nominated.
So go check out the list if you want, and if you want to throw me a bone (pun always intended), then, thank you very much. Best Gay Blogs
Now about that late night phone call... Maybe tomorrow.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Help
Well I have been doing my share of Christmas shopping for mia famiglia and so on. I try to pride myself on finding just the absolute perfect gift for everyone. So they have something to return and get those great after-Christmas bargains!
And I have gotten a few things for the BF. Some things I know he is just going to love. And some I will when he wears them. ;)
But I need everyone's help. I need to pin down one special thing. One thing that will just blow him away. I want it to be the most romantic thing possible, that will just scream out my love for him (as if he didn't already know).
So - I need some ideas. What is the most romantic thing you have ever given, or received?
And I have gotten a few things for the BF. Some things I know he is just going to love. And some I will when he wears them. ;)
But I need everyone's help. I need to pin down one special thing. One thing that will just blow him away. I want it to be the most romantic thing possible, that will just scream out my love for him (as if he didn't already know).
So - I need some ideas. What is the most romantic thing you have ever given, or received?
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Shopping Ideas
First off let me answer a few questions. Yes, he is that dumb. Yes, he does need all the help he can get. And yes, I will be wearing a lovely black cashmere blazer on New Year's Eve, providing he doesn't stain it at his Christmas Party.
Now on to other pleasing things. I would like to recommend a couple of things for those of you who are still undecided on what to buy for your favorite single straight boy who needs all the help he can get, and for your favorite gay boy or girl who just need a laugh. Let me preface this by saying, I receive no compensation from products I may recommend on my blog. And if I am ever that fortunate I will mention it.
Both of my recommendations are books from two really good authors, and both are available online at your favorite bookseller.
The first is "A New Ladies Man" by Colin Mortensen. Some of you may remember Colin from "The Real World, Hawaii". Colin had sent me a copy of his book to read, and I have to tell you, it is a must for straight single guys! His advice is quite straightforward (sorry). He has a great sense of humor and this book is quite a fun read. In fact, it has good advice for just about anyone and I really enjoyed it myself. If you know any straight single men who really need help with dating and their relationships with women, this book would be perfect. And for the rest of us, there is a lot of great common sense information. And it's damn funny too!
The second is a book for your favorite gay boy or girl. Or yourself. This book was recommended to me a while back, and I had bought it, but only recently got a chance to read it. "How I Paid for College : A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship & Musical Theater" by Marc Acito. I have to say I don't ever remember sitting on the, ummm, on the.... well you know where..., and laughing my, uh..., well just laughing hysterically.
I think this is a must read for any gay man or woman. It's funny, it's clever, and I think it could well be fact, not fiction. There are many moments when I thought I was reading about myself and my experiences.
And after all that humor, here is a final recommendation. I was sent this link the other day, and while I really don't know what a Carls Jr is, this commercial had me in stitches. Milk Shake
Now on to other pleasing things. I would like to recommend a couple of things for those of you who are still undecided on what to buy for your favorite single straight boy who needs all the help he can get, and for your favorite gay boy or girl who just need a laugh. Let me preface this by saying, I receive no compensation from products I may recommend on my blog. And if I am ever that fortunate I will mention it.
Both of my recommendations are books from two really good authors, and both are available online at your favorite bookseller.
The first is "A New Ladies Man" by Colin Mortensen. Some of you may remember Colin from "The Real World, Hawaii". Colin had sent me a copy of his book to read, and I have to tell you, it is a must for straight single guys! His advice is quite straightforward (sorry). He has a great sense of humor and this book is quite a fun read. In fact, it has good advice for just about anyone and I really enjoyed it myself. If you know any straight single men who really need help with dating and their relationships with women, this book would be perfect. And for the rest of us, there is a lot of great common sense information. And it's damn funny too!
The second is a book for your favorite gay boy or girl. Or yourself. This book was recommended to me a while back, and I had bought it, but only recently got a chance to read it. "How I Paid for College : A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship & Musical Theater" by Marc Acito. I have to say I don't ever remember sitting on the, ummm, on the.... well you know where..., and laughing my, uh..., well just laughing hysterically.
I think this is a must read for any gay man or woman. It's funny, it's clever, and I think it could well be fact, not fiction. There are many moments when I thought I was reading about myself and my experiences.
And after all that humor, here is a final recommendation. I was sent this link the other day, and while I really don't know what a Carls Jr is, this commercial had me in stitches. Milk Shake
Friday, December 02, 2005
Shopping with a Str8 Boy
Experience is a wonderful teacher. And if you are a logical, rational individual, you would think that I would learn from past experiences.
You would be wrong.
Last evening I agreed to go Christmas shopping with HSNB. I guess at some point last week in the throes of Thanksgiving revelry I had offered to help the poor boy out with the task. Of course who do the straight people turn to when it comes to matters like these but their friendly neighborhood gay person. We have that extra gene that they lack. You know, the shopping gene. The one that's linked to that other gene. The innate sense of fashion gene. Which is similarly linked to the "We can't understand why straight men can't buy gifts for their wives/mothers/girlfriends, so of course we help them" gene.
I should have seen the signs right up front. The premise was that we were there to purchase a gift for HSNB's mother. Why it didn't click when he steered me directly into the men's section, I don't know. After about five minutes of watching him look at the clothing with a pained expression on his face, I finally asked him why we were looking in the Men's Clothing section for a Mom gift. "Oh," he says, "I need something to wear for the company Christmas party too." Lawd, have mercy on me.
"Well, is it formal or casual?" I asked.
"Well, I uh, well, I’m not sure," he replies.
"Did you go to it last year," I ask.
"Yeah."
"Well how was everyone dressed," I didn't even dare ask what he wore!
"The guys had, I guess, like suits." he says. Great command of description this boy.
"Okay, then." And I start pulling things from the racks. I have to admit my hands are magnetically drawn to cashmere. Hmm, I wonder if there is a cashmere gene. So I send him to the fitting room with an armful while I browse the racks. After quite some time has passed and he hasn't reappeared, I decide I should find out what is going on. I go over to the fitting room, knock, and gently ask how he is doing. He doesn't answer. I ask again. Again no answer.
Okay, at this point, what would you have done, being the logical rational individual that you are? You would walk away right?
You would be wrong. The door wasn't locked so I opened it. There he is, sitting on the floor in just his boxers and socks. The most heart-wrenching look on his face like a lost little boy who has just fallen off of his bike. You could see the moisture welling up in his eyes. In that moment, I knew that if he was gay, I would have asked him to marry me.
"What's wrong," I asked.
"I was putting on a shirt, and...," he says softly, "I got a pin stuck in my shoulder."
And all I can think, all that is going through my mind is, what the hell did I do when I was younger that makes me get into these situations.
You would be wrong.
Last evening I agreed to go Christmas shopping with HSNB. I guess at some point last week in the throes of Thanksgiving revelry I had offered to help the poor boy out with the task. Of course who do the straight people turn to when it comes to matters like these but their friendly neighborhood gay person. We have that extra gene that they lack. You know, the shopping gene. The one that's linked to that other gene. The innate sense of fashion gene. Which is similarly linked to the "We can't understand why straight men can't buy gifts for their wives/mothers/girlfriends, so of course we help them" gene.
I should have seen the signs right up front. The premise was that we were there to purchase a gift for HSNB's mother. Why it didn't click when he steered me directly into the men's section, I don't know. After about five minutes of watching him look at the clothing with a pained expression on his face, I finally asked him why we were looking in the Men's Clothing section for a Mom gift. "Oh," he says, "I need something to wear for the company Christmas party too." Lawd, have mercy on me.
"Well, is it formal or casual?" I asked.
"Well, I uh, well, I’m not sure," he replies.
"Did you go to it last year," I ask.
"Yeah."
"Well how was everyone dressed," I didn't even dare ask what he wore!
"The guys had, I guess, like suits." he says. Great command of description this boy.
"Okay, then." And I start pulling things from the racks. I have to admit my hands are magnetically drawn to cashmere. Hmm, I wonder if there is a cashmere gene. So I send him to the fitting room with an armful while I browse the racks. After quite some time has passed and he hasn't reappeared, I decide I should find out what is going on. I go over to the fitting room, knock, and gently ask how he is doing. He doesn't answer. I ask again. Again no answer.
Okay, at this point, what would you have done, being the logical rational individual that you are? You would walk away right?
You would be wrong. The door wasn't locked so I opened it. There he is, sitting on the floor in just his boxers and socks. The most heart-wrenching look on his face like a lost little boy who has just fallen off of his bike. You could see the moisture welling up in his eyes. In that moment, I knew that if he was gay, I would have asked him to marry me.
"What's wrong," I asked.
"I was putting on a shirt, and...," he says softly, "I got a pin stuck in my shoulder."
And all I can think, all that is going through my mind is, what the hell did I do when I was younger that makes me get into these situations.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Utterly exhausted!
Orphan Thanksgiving was wonderful! I am so glad my mother decided against the family thing. Everyone was well fed. There was lots of food left over. I even ended up with a couple of houseguests Thursday night. We played games until late in the evening, and some of us (not me) were just a little too full of wine to make it home! I was already home, but being the perfect host, I was not really drinking all that much.
Friday morning I got creative and threw together an early brunch for everyone (yes, I am that gay). I never do the Black Friday shopping thing and obviously none of my guests did either. I bid the last of them adieu in the early afternoon, and then BF and I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning up. And making a mess. And then cleaning each other up. ;)
Friday evening, we went out to see Rent. Yes, I cried during the movie. Three times to be exact. When the movie started and I heard the first few notes of the music tears started streaming. If there are those of you out there who have never seen Rent, I won't say when the other two times were, but take tissues if you go to see it.
I do have to say I don't ever remember sitting in a movie theatre before and forgetting myself enough to put my head on my boyfriend's shoulder. That was a great feeling.
The rest of the weekend was spent decorating, making messes, playing football (yes I love him that much), and spending time with friends. All in all, the most fun since I left the shore. The craziest thing of all, I am really looking forward to Christmas this year. But for now, I'm tired. Daddy needs some rest.
Friday morning I got creative and threw together an early brunch for everyone (yes, I am that gay). I never do the Black Friday shopping thing and obviously none of my guests did either. I bid the last of them adieu in the early afternoon, and then BF and I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning up. And making a mess. And then cleaning each other up. ;)
Friday evening, we went out to see Rent. Yes, I cried during the movie. Three times to be exact. When the movie started and I heard the first few notes of the music tears started streaming. If there are those of you out there who have never seen Rent, I won't say when the other two times were, but take tissues if you go to see it.
I do have to say I don't ever remember sitting in a movie theatre before and forgetting myself enough to put my head on my boyfriend's shoulder. That was a great feeling.
The rest of the weekend was spent decorating, making messes, playing football (yes I love him that much), and spending time with friends. All in all, the most fun since I left the shore. The craziest thing of all, I am really looking forward to Christmas this year. But for now, I'm tired. Daddy needs some rest.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Moms are like that
I have always said my mother was psychic. The woman has always seemed to know exactly what I was thinking, or when I was not feeling well, or when life was not exactly going swimmingly for me.
BF and I have been negotiating our first Thanksgiving and Christmas together since Halloween. Christmas was easy, with time split between our families. His are here. Mine are 5 hours across the state. We had decided that we would spend Christmas Eve here together and with his family, and leave on Christmas Day for Western PA.
Thanksgiving however was an issue. I normally don't travel home. As discussed before, I have Orphan Thanksgiving, inviting people I know that are single and don't have family close. This would allow me to spend time with both him and his family.
Then my mother casually mentioned on the phone some weeks back, that she would love to have the whole family home for a large Thanksgiving meal, just like in the old days. My only thought at the time was, "Gee Mom, why not just kill me now and spare me the agony".
So obviously this revelation caused a few tense moments between BF and I, with no apparent resolution other than the fact that I was not going to be here. Neither of us were happy about it, but a boy has to do what a boy has to do when his Mother starts throwing around the Italian guilt. That's a force of nature that is hard to reckon with on any normal day.
Then this weekend, Mama Destino called me. I asked her about the menu for Thursday, and if she needed anything of course. That's when she got quiet for a moment. My mother quiet on the phone is usually a sign that prophetic words are about to be uttered.
She said she just wasn't up to having the family for the Holiday, especially when they would all be invading her house in December. It would mean multiple overnight guests including my sister and her Satanic spawn, and Mom just doesn't want to deal with them. So she says.
I know it was just that her Spidey sense knew it was causing issues for me. I am her favorite son after all. And I know she loves me the best. And she always says I'm cute. Gotta love that.
BF and I have been negotiating our first Thanksgiving and Christmas together since Halloween. Christmas was easy, with time split between our families. His are here. Mine are 5 hours across the state. We had decided that we would spend Christmas Eve here together and with his family, and leave on Christmas Day for Western PA.
Thanksgiving however was an issue. I normally don't travel home. As discussed before, I have Orphan Thanksgiving, inviting people I know that are single and don't have family close. This would allow me to spend time with both him and his family.
Then my mother casually mentioned on the phone some weeks back, that she would love to have the whole family home for a large Thanksgiving meal, just like in the old days. My only thought at the time was, "Gee Mom, why not just kill me now and spare me the agony".
So obviously this revelation caused a few tense moments between BF and I, with no apparent resolution other than the fact that I was not going to be here. Neither of us were happy about it, but a boy has to do what a boy has to do when his Mother starts throwing around the Italian guilt. That's a force of nature that is hard to reckon with on any normal day.
Then this weekend, Mama Destino called me. I asked her about the menu for Thursday, and if she needed anything of course. That's when she got quiet for a moment. My mother quiet on the phone is usually a sign that prophetic words are about to be uttered.
She said she just wasn't up to having the family for the Holiday, especially when they would all be invading her house in December. It would mean multiple overnight guests including my sister and her Satanic spawn, and Mom just doesn't want to deal with them. So she says.
I know it was just that her Spidey sense knew it was causing issues for me. I am her favorite son after all. And I know she loves me the best. And she always says I'm cute. Gotta love that.
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Decision Time
I thought about it long and hard. No, not that. Although that is a nice thought..., but I digress.
I don't like me on NaNoWriMo. The BF does not like me on NaNoWriMo. My dog does not like me on NaNoWriMo.
So I have given up. I thought it was a fun idea, but in execution, it is just not my cup of green tea. The biggest problem is in the method of writing. Had I chosen something less, well, interesting I guess, then it would be different. I probably could have whipped out a technical manual of 50,000 words without really even thinking about it.
But I chose to write a murder mystery. It's a genre I love to read and always wanted to try my hand at writing. So I did. And guess what? I fell in love. No, not him. I was already in love with the BF. I mean my protagonist. I was giving him lots of quantity time, but hardly any quality time.
If I can't spend more quality time with him, then I have to break it off. He deserves so much more than a feeble attempt at pushing out mass quantities of words with a blatant disregard to his feelings. He needs to be nourished, and nurtured.
And that is just what I am going to do. I am going to get our relationship back to the way it was. Back in Chapter One.
Standing in the sea of boxes, he didn't realize he was not alone.
I don't like me on NaNoWriMo. The BF does not like me on NaNoWriMo. My dog does not like me on NaNoWriMo.
So I have given up. I thought it was a fun idea, but in execution, it is just not my cup of green tea. The biggest problem is in the method of writing. Had I chosen something less, well, interesting I guess, then it would be different. I probably could have whipped out a technical manual of 50,000 words without really even thinking about it.
But I chose to write a murder mystery. It's a genre I love to read and always wanted to try my hand at writing. So I did. And guess what? I fell in love. No, not him. I was already in love with the BF. I mean my protagonist. I was giving him lots of quantity time, but hardly any quality time.
If I can't spend more quality time with him, then I have to break it off. He deserves so much more than a feeble attempt at pushing out mass quantities of words with a blatant disregard to his feelings. He needs to be nourished, and nurtured.
And that is just what I am going to do. I am going to get our relationship back to the way it was. Back in Chapter One.
Standing in the sea of boxes, he didn't realize he was not alone.
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Yup.
I'm still writing. I am going on record as stating, I AM NEVER DOING THIS AGAIN.
I don't really like writing this way. I want to think about what I am writing, not just putting words on paper. Prose flows. Not. I am never going to be famous writing this way.
Other than that, alls well in Joeyville. Nothing happening. Well there's the whole holiday issue coming up, but we'll broach that later. So what's everyone else up to?
I don't really like writing this way. I want to think about what I am writing, not just putting words on paper. Prose flows. Not. I am never going to be famous writing this way.
Other than that, alls well in Joeyville. Nothing happening. Well there's the whole holiday issue coming up, but we'll broach that later. So what's everyone else up to?
Friday, November 11, 2005
I got my hands full
I've been writing like crazy. I'll be updating this weekend when I feel like taking some time away. Until then, Happy Friday!
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
It's a Mystery
I'm writing. That's a good thing. I'm still stiff (and not in a good way) from the weekend, so sitting for long periods is difficult to say the least. That's not a good thing.
I'm also behind on my favorite procrastination activity of reading everyone else's blogs (which is the normal reason I don't get posts on here).
So I am making this brief today. I really need to get back to the novel. I'm leaving you with a tease (or two if you count the picture). Here's the first line of the novel. Actually it's the first line of chapter one (there's a prologue as well).
Standing in the sea of boxes, he did not realize that he was not alone in the house.
I'm also behind on my favorite procrastination activity of reading everyone else's blogs (which is the normal reason I don't get posts on here).
So I am making this brief today. I really need to get back to the novel. I'm leaving you with a tease (or two if you count the picture). Here's the first line of the novel. Actually it's the first line of chapter one (there's a prologue as well).
Standing in the sea of boxes, he did not realize that he was not alone in the house.
Monday, November 07, 2005
Just kill me
I have transformed procrastination into a new art form. I should have spent time this weekend working on my NaNoWriMo (which I am sure is Japanese for I don't want to write no more) novel. But no. I'm the one with the boyfriend remember. The boyfriend, who only needs to flash those baby blues at me and he gets his way. He is truly evil. Spawn of Satan evil.
First it was going out on Friday night. He really wanted to hang out with friends. But not alone. Oh no, I had to be there too. "But Honey," he said, "I look better when I am standing next to you." Uh huh. I can translate that. That actually means, "Because you are older, I look really hot when I stand near you."
Saturday it was a trip out to see the leaves. I thought for sure it was going to be a road trip - out and back fairly quickly. Uh huh. Mr. Younger-and-in-such-better-shape decided it would be nice to walk through Valley Forge. All of Valley Forge. That's 2500 acres. I believe at least 2499 of that is uphill. By the time I got back there was going to be no writing. Nope, I was too tired to sit up. Satan Jr. drew me a bath and then proceeded to... Oh c'mon, you can figure that part out.
And then yesterday. Oh yes. The day when I thought I would engineer the procrastination all on my own. I wanted to spend the day watching football from the safety of some horizontal surface. Nope. The Prince of Darkness got a call from friends who wanted to PLAY football. And of course he said yes. I'm thinking, cool, he can go and I can just lie here. That’s when he said, “Of course Joey will come.”
Today I am sitting here at work, heating pad on my back, bandage on my arm, and bruises on my face, chest, sides, and thighs. I am not into pain. At all. Please someone, kill me. At least send pain killers!
First it was going out on Friday night. He really wanted to hang out with friends. But not alone. Oh no, I had to be there too. "But Honey," he said, "I look better when I am standing next to you." Uh huh. I can translate that. That actually means, "Because you are older, I look really hot when I stand near you."
Saturday it was a trip out to see the leaves. I thought for sure it was going to be a road trip - out and back fairly quickly. Uh huh. Mr. Younger-and-in-such-better-shape decided it would be nice to walk through Valley Forge. All of Valley Forge. That's 2500 acres. I believe at least 2499 of that is uphill. By the time I got back there was going to be no writing. Nope, I was too tired to sit up. Satan Jr. drew me a bath and then proceeded to... Oh c'mon, you can figure that part out.
And then yesterday. Oh yes. The day when I thought I would engineer the procrastination all on my own. I wanted to spend the day watching football from the safety of some horizontal surface. Nope. The Prince of Darkness got a call from friends who wanted to PLAY football. And of course he said yes. I'm thinking, cool, he can go and I can just lie here. That’s when he said, “Of course Joey will come.”
Today I am sitting here at work, heating pad on my back, bandage on my arm, and bruises on my face, chest, sides, and thighs. I am not into pain. At all. Please someone, kill me. At least send pain killers!
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Are you nuts?
Normally the pictures I post are chosen for a specific reason. They either illustrate the topic I am discussing, or reflect my mood at the time of the post.
I am sure that was already apparent to anyone who stops by here. And for the rest of you, now you'll look twice.
But today's picture you will assume has absolutely nothing to do with this post. I'll prove you wrong. Later.
I have done something that will prove to people who think I am crazy, that they are completely and utterly correct. I barely have any free time at all to do anything that is, well, just for me. I treasure each and every rare minute I scrounge up to just do absolutely nothing.
So what do I go and do, you ask? Well I decided to join a writing project. Not just any little ol' writing project either. I joined in the NaNoWriMo project. Yes dear friends it is National Novel Writing Month, and I have agreed to attempt the 50,000 word goal by the end of November.
See. Told you I was nuts.
So for the next few weeks, I may occasionally throw some snippets up here just to show you I am working on it.
Oh. How does Reichen figure into this post? He's the model for one of my main characters. I mean, come on, how much more inspiration could a boy ask for? :)
ps: Thanks to everyone for their very kind words when I wasn't feeling well. That was very sweet, and very appreciated.
I am sure that was already apparent to anyone who stops by here. And for the rest of you, now you'll look twice.
But today's picture you will assume has absolutely nothing to do with this post. I'll prove you wrong. Later.
I have done something that will prove to people who think I am crazy, that they are completely and utterly correct. I barely have any free time at all to do anything that is, well, just for me. I treasure each and every rare minute I scrounge up to just do absolutely nothing.
So what do I go and do, you ask? Well I decided to join a writing project. Not just any little ol' writing project either. I joined in the NaNoWriMo project. Yes dear friends it is National Novel Writing Month, and I have agreed to attempt the 50,000 word goal by the end of November.
See. Told you I was nuts.
So for the next few weeks, I may occasionally throw some snippets up here just to show you I am working on it.
Oh. How does Reichen figure into this post? He's the model for one of my main characters. I mean, come on, how much more inspiration could a boy ask for? :)
ps: Thanks to everyone for their very kind words when I wasn't feeling well. That was very sweet, and very appreciated.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Ugh
Since it's Halloween I guess it fits. I've had what is best known as the "creeping cruds" for most of the past week. My system seems to have been fighting off - something. While most people around me had aches and chills, and sore throats, exhaustion, and general malaise, I've mostly just had the exhaustion. Sleep has been my best friend. I missed the weekend totally, opting to trade costumes and frolic for the comfort of my couch and a quilt.
I spent most of last week trudging to work, and coming home to rest. Is it better to be all out sick, or just going through the body war that keeps you tired? Well when you are completely ill, you stay home and get better. This way, I was still functional, just miserable. Feeling better today - so far anyway.
Scary creatures will be coming to my door tonight. I think maybe I'll leave the candy bowl on the porch, and get some sleep.
I spent most of last week trudging to work, and coming home to rest. Is it better to be all out sick, or just going through the body war that keeps you tired? Well when you are completely ill, you stay home and get better. This way, I was still functional, just miserable. Feeling better today - so far anyway.
Scary creatures will be coming to my door tonight. I think maybe I'll leave the candy bowl on the porch, and get some sleep.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Oddly enough
Someone mentioned I should take a look at my statistics to see the keywords that people type into search engines that ultimately lead to this corner of the world. So here is two seconds of searches. I must say, it's ummmm, interesting. And disturbing...
18:00:02 joeydestino.blogspot.com (Google)
Well that makes sense.
18:00:02 Steve Sandvoss (AOL)
Wise choice. I loves me some Steve!
18:00:01 stephen lynch what halloween means to me (Yahoo)
Another wise choice. BTW, I do not profit from the link to his site. Unless he gets me tickets (Hint Hint Stephen).
18:00:01 hot guys (Netscape)
Well that one makes sense too! Why do people think these searches are odd?
18:00:01 Try this one," said Jack, "and I'll say it just one time. Tell you what, we could a had a good (Google)
Oh dear goddess, you typed all of that? You can find the whole story online typing a lot less than that.
18:00:01 NJ gym masturbate shower (Google)
I don't remember stringing those 4 expressions together so it must be a shore post. Oh and, ewwwwww. Never masturbate in a gym shower. Do that at home. Now if someone else is doing it to you...
18:00:01 get traveling destin (MSN)
I have no clue on this one.
18:00:01 Marc Sparky Bartolomeo photo OR picture (Google)
Good taste :)
18:00:01 fake drowning (Google)
Hmmm. Ah, the lifeguard post!
18:00:01 hot guys (AOL)
Wow, that's popular.
18:00:01 i want to read brokeback mountain (MSN)
Ok fine. Here's a hint people. Try doing a search on Amazon's site. The whole text is there.
18:00:01 sucksdick (MSN)
Why yes, that's what men who date other men do. Usually. According to Margaret Cho it's the secret to great abs.
18:00:01 lesbian strap on sex samples (Yahoo)
Oh Sweet-Cher-In-Spandex-And-Leather, are you in the wrong place!!!
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